every second dripping off my fingertips

2010-11-06T19:31:00.005+08:00

I am sitting here inside chatter, fooling around on the computer with Naomi. Wait, wrong. I'm fooling around. She's doing her work. I'm supposed to be studying ROR and journaling. Anyway, instead of journaling, I thought why not blog and journal about the week. I'd be killing two stones with one bird! Wait, wrong. Pardon my inability to post with the accurate use of English and sentence structure, it has been a while since I last did something like this ever since I sold my soul to Mega Mind.

Now I really hope no one except Naomi reads my blog.

I found the nature of Idiotic Period to be truly boring, mind wasting and useless 5 weeks before the whole thing actually began. I was hoping time would stop and everyone in the world would live the same way over and over again for the few weeks since I came back from Elephant Land. Such was the pain of seeing the Honourable Ones return to the fortress. A wave of annoyance flooded the land, and perhaps out of all the noble Knights, I was the greatest victim of mental deteriorating and brain cell loss. First, they tortured me with a series of brain washing sessions that extended for hours on end, and as if that wasn't enough, they dragged us out of our cells and gathered us in a large group, Knights too, to verbally berate us. All this to try and induct us into their clan, their band of brothers. We Knights, on the other hand, have a plan to change the world, to make a difference. Our spirits might have taken a beating on the last day of the brain washing when we were mentally as well as physically tortured. They brought us down to the ground, made us beg for mercy, and penetrated our minds in unholy ways. It was truly painful. I have the scars to prove it.

Days later, we got the chance to meet older Knights of the Orders before ours, men who have made a name for themselves, a legacy. They spoke with passion and life, despite their age and experience. Their experience was of most value to us, and it got me wondering how far we had to go ourselves before we got to where they were in life right now. It would be a long and arduous journey, and there will be a lot to learn and to overcome, but I can do it. At least I think so. I always become afraid of something before it actually happens. I get anxious and I dread the idea of having to face such a challenge. It weakens me, but when that event comes, I discover I can actually do it without much effort, or rather, it feels like it is not a lot of effort after I actually do it. Perhaps I underestimate myself. I am on this line that separates mediocrity from greatness, and I want to cross this line, but I cannot bring myself to make that great leap. Or perhaps I have been made to think that. But I really want to be great and honourable.

Following that, us Knights were presented with a mission of sorts. Like medieval jousting competitions, it certain felt like we were being judged as we were going along. It felt like we were lab rats in Mega Mind's glass box, running on a wheel that doesn't go anywhere, at least not until the wheel breaks, and we can then run out of the box. But how long will that take. It is always a challenge when you're told to reach the finish line and that it will be a tough journey. At the beginning, it is easy to be motivated since it hasn't dawned upon you that the road will be so long that it will seems like there is never going to be an end to it. That's my problem. If I can't see the end, I won't want to work. It is probably a problem for lots of other people as well. And I think the scientists conducting this experiment understand and see that as well. I think it is only a matter of time that us Knights, and the newer warriors in our cause finally wise up and change to become better at what they do. I believe the New Order needs experience to learn.

And then there was Friday and Saturday. I took time off and my chainmail off to spend time with my darling Naomi. We went for dinner with her mom and friends and had some nice Malay food. It was curious looking at first, because I'm so used to the boring shit I eat everyday, so this was almost alien to me. In fact, girls and guys with long hair look alien to me as well. Anyway, the food was quite okay and we had a nice time chatting (or rather laughing and making stupid faces) with Rebecca and friend. I also had the opportunity to duel Rebecca at seeing whose arm is the biggest, which I obviously lost, and showing Naomi how to do tactical signalling. It isn't very difficult if you ask me. After the scrumptious left overs, we left for Bugis where we had an unpleasant experience at a certain old cinema. No, it did not feel like we were transported back in time to one of those old ancient cinemas. It felt more like we were sent on a trip to another dimension where people were just as lazy as I am and refuse to use soap as a cleaning agent rather than plain water to mop the floor. I doubt they mopped the floor anyway. Lucky enough, the movie was a nice distraction from the stickiness I felt at the sole of my feet. Obviously The Social Network is a heavily dramatised version of how Facebook began. I mean, did Justin Timberlake really own almost half of Facebook Inc.? And is he really that smart? I thought the portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg was particularly negative as well. He was made to look like a selfish jerk incapable of social interaction with the opposite sex due to his low EQ. But, aren't all brilliant geniuses stereotypical like that? Maybe I'm a different kind of genius then.

2010-09-12T00:47:00.003+08:00

Being better can be either a difficult, or simple thing to aim for. The problem with it is that while it is general enough to make your mission somewhat more achievable, the idea of something as vast as "being better" can be daunting to some. For some of us, just to improve as a person can be a challenge because of several reasons. One of which might be the reluctance to change, or fear of change. To deviate from the daily norm and way of life becomes a fear from some of us. But, change is constant, whether within us or around us, and whether this change is positive or not depends on our own volition. We can choose to drive the people around us to do good, and become better people ourselves, or we could manipulate everyone around us to be rotten, and be rotten in doing so.

When I think about what I have to do to become a better person, I feel like the change I have to make is small, yet tough. I would have to change the way I live my life, the way I treat people, the way I react to things around me. My vocation calls for a high level of "situational awareness", so no more acting blur. Acting blur is always a way to avoid getting too involved in something you would not want to get involved in, and also a way of avoiding trouble should your feet be stuck too firmly in the soil and you were caught in the act, having to answer for your deeds. For me, the change I need is to be more receptive to things around, and not let the minor details go unnoticed. It is essential for every gentlemen to adopt this, and for those in my vocation, it is even more important in other aspects as well.

Hopefully these 3 weeks won't be wasted. I know the general takeaway that everyone wants is to be a better leader and sailor, but I want to be more. I need to be more for the people I love, so that their lives will not be a misery when the time comes. Every other post before has been like this, but never have I embarked on such a mission, and apart from it feeling like a reality-TV-life-changing show, it does feel like a significant step towards my goal. The biggest challenge has not come yet, but it is a step in the positive direction.

Other step in the positive direction was the Mahler Adagietto I attended. I saw my cello teacher and my conductor, and all the nostalgia came rushing back. My dreams of becoming the Captain of a ship feels more attainable than the list of obsessions I previously had: Doctor, Athlete, Lawyer, Actor, Director, Radio DJ, Journalist, Rock Star, Conductor.

I'm starting to dream again.

2010-08-11T17:40:00.002+08:00

It has been over 5 months since my last post. That post came the day before I enlisted into BMT. Now I have moved on to the Midshipman Wing, ready to progress to the next stage of my life. I have not made much of an effort to put down my thoughts as I did once, but now I find myself with more time to think and write. I should be writing, with my matriculation happening this time next year. And the path I have chosen means I have to shake off the rough and rugged lifestyle of the Infantry, and don a new set of clothes. A new life.

I'm afraid, as always. I know not what lies ahead, but I have probably said this before. I'll keep going. I need to be happy.

Now, the more I look into the future, the more I begin to find that life lacks real meaning if you do not spend it enjoying the company of the people around you, and if you do not do meaningful things. As cliched as it sounds, making people happy makes you happy. But what happens when you begin to find everything mundane? I must not allow my life to become aimless.

2010-03-05T23:57:00.002+08:00

The Waves

Night falls over the chill like waves

washing over this dirt, this dirt

My river flows, it flows with wonder

at the sight of your sweet heart

And now as I lay, looking towards

the bottom of a bottomless

Ocean, I see the ripples of joy

dance around my dreams

These waves, these waves

Fly away, fly away, and it finds you

These waves, these waves

Wash away, wash away your pain

The seconds slip off my fingertips

and fragments of twisted light break

And jolt you awake, awake as I pass

the evening wind into your hands

And now as I lay, looking towards

the sky above, the darkness around these

Stars, I see the light of your love

dance around my dreams

These waves, these waves

Fly away, fly away, and it finds you

These waves, these waves

Wash away, wash away your pain

The lights above

reflected in the sea below

Dance with joy as

The waves cleanse our souls

These souls entwined in the water,

these souls keep hold of each other

These souls entwined in the water,

these souls share warmth now and ever

Now and ever.

2010-03-05T14:12:00.002+08:00

As my free time draws to a close, I tend to think about how I should have exercised more, or continued swimming, but naahhhhh I don't really care.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Gareth's last post before I enter army. Or maybe, second last post. I don't know yet. Either way, it won't be long till I meet my doom, even though some might think it'll do some good for me.

The last few weeks have been spent lazing around at home doing nothing much except playing games on the computer and watching dramas. Occasionally, I would go out with friends if they felt like going out with me (yes that's how it works these days, in my kingdom), and if I'm lucky, get invited over to their place. Still, I had a good time doing whatever with my friends cos it was spent with close friends man.

I caught a gay play lately, and then the next day I went out with JT, HL and other half for a fattening outing. Not a good idea to go out with girls after a gay play, cos they'll really think you've become gay. Just ask Naomi. Anyway, the play, or should I say, plays (because there were 3. Excellent value for money), were amazing. I think Naomi enjoyed it more than I did, because of the gays. I don't know what's with her and gays. I think I enjoyed the middle play more than the rest because this Nicholas Tee guy, who acted as Benjamin, made me laugh so hard that I uh... ... well he made me laugh hard. Usually people who act his character turn out pretty bad, but he played it very well, and he knew how to save himself from certain doom at times.

Lately, I took neoprints again for the first time in a long time. I conclude that I look gay, although some people actually think I look good. To those people, I say "aww really". And just yesterday, I saw Alice in Wonderland. Call me demanding, but I was actually expecting spectacular, but all I got was slight less than that, but spectacular nonetheless. The Red Queen (or Wed Qween as she would say it) was rather funny, and it was an okay performance form Johnny Depp as the Madhatter. Then there was Alice. This actress we have never come across did quite well, but I think Naomi and I agree she was rather skanky as the character. Half the time she was exploding out of her clothes. Not that it bothered me.

And then there's today. Well, I think today's going to be great. Too bad it won't last.

2010-02-25T01:48:00.001+08:00

2010-02-24T23:55:00.002+08:00

I'm sick of staying here. Life here is mundane and repetitive, and it's difficult as well. Money is hard to earn, life is hard to live. If ever I had the chance to move away, I'd go as far away as possible. According to some personality quiz thing on facebook, I'm content with my life. Perhaps that quiz thing is wrong. Perhaps I want more than sun all year round, floods on random days, traffic jams everywhere. Traffic everywhere. I want open space. Perhaps I've lived here too long.

I think I've said before in my one of my older posts that I want to live a simple life. I think that view has changed of late. I think now, I want to live a comfortable life. I guess simple never actually meant farms and chickens, just hassle free, no jams, no need to pay for everything, no need to bother about every little thing. Just living simple with no worry about deadlines and expectations. Maybe a holiday might have done me some good but again there's the money issue, and no one besides my parents would want to go with me anyway.

But what are the chances of that kind of life happening? It looks like I'm destined to stay here forever. I hope not though. Maybe one day I'll get the chance, but for now, I'll have to bite the bullet of sorts. Betray my feelings, wipe my emotions clean, become numb. I suppose that might work. Then I can live in my own idyllic world where no one can bother me. No no, I'm not being ignorant or whatever degrading thing you might conjure up in your mind. I would just prefer it if nothing bothered me.

2010-02-20T14:01:00.002+08:00

Army coming. I'm still fat. And my friends (namely Marcus Ting, who I met yesterday) finished their BMT already. Otherwise, it's been an okay week for me.

I went to Krupa's place to catch Law Abiding Citizen. Gerard Butler went from brutal Spartan to brainy-engineer-murderer. At first I thought there must have been some genius, inexplicable way he was going about killing these people. Like a pre-meditated, "everything is set and now people are going to systematically walk into my trap" kind of plan. My feelings were cheated slightly in the end but it was a nice movie altogether. I thought Jamie Foxx was drab in this one, and Gerard Butler's accent was incredibly obvious in this one. His muscles were the highlight of the movie (for Krupa at least), when his shirt was off, revealing his Spartan body from 300.

I want that when I come out of army. Spartan.Body.

2010-02-12T22:29:00.002+08:00

TOP 5 THINGS TO DO AT HOME IF YOU'RE BORED WITH NOTHING TO DO (like me)

Number 5: The first thing that comes to mind when you think of "entertainment" and "explosions" is TELEVISION. Nothing beats a good show on the goggle box. I have always been an advocate of House because it never fails to crack me up and make me cry all at the same time. No no it is not an emotional rollercoaster of a show, it's just witty and critical of the human condition, of how people truly are. It is a show about truth, pain, trust, friendship and mistakes. It's also a show about medical mysteries. Of course, the next show I'd recommend is Grey's Anatomy because Daryl likes that, and we all know who likes Daryl. If you're bored early in the morning after you've woken up, you're really not satisfied with your life, are you? If so, watch ellen, by far the best daytime TV talk show ever. She's funny, she's kind, she's a lesbian, and she gives away free stuff. What could be better than that? (besides Oprah).

Number 4: If you have not been entertained by the above, perhaps you go for the less "in your face" form of entertainment, and maybe you prefer the subtlety of MUSIC. Playing music and listening to music can soothe the soul, make you happy and clear your mind of your troubles. It is especially effective if you lie in bed or on the floor, face the ceiling, and visualise the music and the lyrics. You might even want to play air-guitar or air-conduct, for those classical music buffs out there. I particularly like to conduct Haydn's Symphony 104 (London). No no, I did not like it when I was studying it, I only liked it more after the exam. Relax MEPers, I'm still cool.

Number 3: It's probably lunch time now, if you've tried the above, and still find that you're bored out of your wits. So I suggest you have lunch, before your wits are really depleted. After which, you can move on to my actual suggestion which is to USE THE COMPUTER. Technology can be very useful, and very bitchy, so approach with caution. The internet can be fun (yes, you heard me), but it can also be rather annoying if you get interruptus. I would advise against getting annoyed, lest you smash your keyboard and modem in fits of anger, thereby ensuring you will never visit YouTube ever again. You might also damage your hard drive, soft drive, floppy drive and disc drive, condemning you to a life of no Goong. Oh the horror.

Number 2: We are now one away from the number first position on my list, so let us take a look at the even even more subtle and sophisticated forms of entertainment. READING A GOOD BOOK not only enriches the mind, it entertains for hours on end, and for the average couch potato, it's fantastic for killing time until dinner. People think finding a good book is difficult, but sometimes it is not about the quality of the material. In this case, it is how much you are entertained. If you're reading a good book, then congratulations. You get to 1) enhance your brain power, 2) expand your horizons, 3) enjoy a good story, 4) evoke essential emotions. Excellent.

And, if all else fails, here's THE NUMBER ONE SOLUTION TO YOUR BOREDOM! *drum rollllll*

Sleep.

2010-02-11T22:47:00.002+08:00

I woke up feeling bummy today, but I had to had to had to get out cos I needed to hand in my university application. I suppose I was led to believe that I NEEEEEEDED to stamp my photocopied documents to certify official. Well at least, that was what my teacher told me. So I dragged Krupa by the leash to school today to get the necessary verification. I later realised (upon calling the admissions office) that it was not necessary. And the school require 3 working days to get it stamped. I guess one day is to pull out the cover, then the next day is for putting it on the ink pad, and the last day to actually put it on the paper. Efficiency at its very best.

We let the nostalgia of the school wash over us as we walked around school getting stuff photocopied and confirmed. We managed to run into CX along the corridor (several times, I might add), and we also met him at the photocopying station, where there was some kinky flirting going on with the Uncle Tony. Yeah you heard me. It was spine chilling, and at the same time bone tickling.

After which we let the nostalgia consume us as we consumed nostalgic school food. I didn't want to take my usual meepok because I ALWAYS eat that anyway. I can have it any time. The auntie loves me. So I had the donburi. Krupa had it too. Once again I joked with him about what type of meat it was. He's used to it already.

And at last we went to NUS to complete the necessary application procedure, and of course Krupa had to let his eyes roam. I told him he could let them roam all he wanted if he came with me to Naomi's lecture, but just as well, I had an exciting time sitting alone with Naomi. And Nash.

2010-02-10T15:51:00.004+08:00

The days leading up to Chinese New Year have been fun and sad at the same time. Not that the days are over yet, but this is the general impression so far. It's been fun because I've been at home watching Goong, the Korean drama so graciously thrust upon me to watch, so as to brainwash me into being TRULY Asian. Yet, I've been somewhat lonely being stuck at home with no movies or theme parks to go to. Besides my trips out to meet people and reading at Starbucks, that's all I've been up to. Yes, I know I should have found a job. I got that a long time ago.

Speaking of Koreans, I showed Krupa an image of Yoon Eun Hye.

Me: *smiles widely* *stares at her pretty face*

Krupa: hmm, show me another picture. This one she looks.. *shrugs* I don't know.

Me: *goes back to google images* this one?

Krupa: *pause* We have different tastes. Definitely.

So my attempt to make Krupa TRULY Asian as well crash and burned. I guess the ICS (Indian Cultural Society) made him Asian enough. I shall not aspire to change him further, but I wonder what kind of Asian girl he really likes.

I also wonder why everyone's so stressed out about Uni Apps. My friends have fallen victim to the omg-everyone-else-in-school-got-so-damn-fucking-high-in-IB-that-I-can't-go-anywhere-cos-of-them disease. My answer to this has ranged from comforting to explaining to giving up altogether. What's there to be worried about? Given what I've been taught, it's better to just try, live and let be, and enjoy it. I've been doing that faithfully by watching the Korean drama and distracting myself with the internet. It's not that I don't care, I just don't see any point in being miserable.

Right now, the only thing that's really nagging me still is my skin. After 19 years, you'd think the wind would actually blow in my direction, but noooooo. As much as I would like a miracle, House doesn't exist and even he would be bored with my case. I must say, over the years my confidence has taken a beating, but I try not to let it affect me. Lately I've realised that more and more but it will take some time before I get back my mojo. Thinking of this reminds me of the time I was still competing, in the twilight years of my career, where I would get the nerves. Even on the block, I would shake. I never used to get the nerves before, which was why I got afraid and shocked even more. I wanted to fight, but my body froze up. I tried to work hard to get back my fitness but I just couldn't regain my form. I suppose the damage done was too great, and somehow, I felt that I had to give up, at least to pursue my studies. Perhaps now I feel like I could have done more, but what's done is done. Now I have this life, and in this life, I'm not giving up so easily (as seen in my remarkable comeback in a famous examination).

So I guess now it's out. For all you people who wondered a long time ago "where's Gareth? Why did he quit?" This is your answer. If I have blogged about this before, then this post is to show you some Circle of Life thing, where I revisit random stuff in my past for fun. Boy does that sound familiar.

2010-02-08T23:29:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I took a trip down Naomi's memory lane, of sorts. I discovered her true fan girl nature when I went through her archives. I shall not reveal any further details, lest she come over to my place and slice my limbs off. I like the coming over to my place part but besides that, nahhh.

Anyway, after the long long post I had yesterday, I don't have much more to write about today. Naomi has her essay to write so she's looking for inspiration over here. All I can say is the literature on this blog is BAD. Perhaps I should go watch more plays so that I can come back over here to review and criticise. Or maybe I should criticise the Bond movie I'm watching now. Finally a movie shown on 5 isn't "Presented in widescreen", otherwise Bond would be a skinny Bond. I had to watch Pirates yesterday in "widescreen", as if Keira Knightley wasn't skinny enough to begin with.

Right now I happen to be dying from the sexually connotative dialogue of Die Another Day. I'm finding it difficult to live up to that. Honestly I don't think anyone can save the James Bond franchise. The new bond isn't even suave and sophisticated any longer. What happened to the martini-sipping, debonair British secret agents? Oh well, I suppose no one can save them now.

2010-02-07T17:25:00.002+08:00

The Med Faculty's production surprised me somewhat. I guess Naomi was not as surprised as I was because she told me "med students have ALL the talent, it sucks". I did not know that was a naturally occurring phenomena, until I thought of House. I sincerely thought he was zee ohnlee vahn! (the only one, you noobs who don't watch Russell Peters)

Being my usual, critical self, I thought the vocals of the main characters were recorded and they were lip-synching during the opening number. Obviously I was wrong. I suppose the general word to describe the rest of the musical (as well as this post) is 'surprise'. I never expected a bunch of med students to be so talented. Okay I might be giving them too much credit, but it does remind me of what my group tried, but did not have the opportunity to complete. So the first song "Shine On" was rather HSM-like (it appears again at the end of the production in typical HSM style), with your solos from the stars and impressive vocals from the supporting cast (as Naomi puts it, CALEFARES, but I'm nicer). It ends with the large scale dance number you see in practically every professionally produced musical. Yes you heard me, PROFESSIONAL. The dance was not Disney perfect, but it was well choreographed and timed to near perfection, save for a few screw ups expected here and there.

In between there were other musical numbers that I fail to recall because I'm just like that. I wonder how I managed to survive IB. But let's not dwell on that now. The next number I can at least vaguely recall is "Pretty Me", the introduction of Miss Popular, bitchy beauty queen 'Tiffany'. The music composed was textbook, and yet it fit perfectly into the style of a university level musical production that managed to blow my mind, although that might be because my mind hasn't quite experienced the truly amazing. The blocking and dancing added to the genius of this broadway style musical number. As a student run project, it was brilliant.

"A Tumour in my Brain" was the next number to be implanted in my memory (I made a doctor joke!) depicting a love filled argument between Mervyn and Eugenia, the Beauty and the Geek with the gender reversed. The music was done in the style of a tango, with dancers appearing on stage and the characters engaging in a 'lovers' feud' around them. Well actually at this point, they're not quite "lovers" yet. Anyway, the singing and acting was great in this one, and once again the songwriting helped to make it my favourite number.

By far our most favourite character was Mervyn, cos he's funny *swoons*. The scriptwriting was excellent for his act-smart-act-suave-act-cool character that was so cheesy and stereotypical, it would have been a disaster if the acting was done badly. Fortunately, his acting was up-there. Naomi liked the singing guy at the end, during the 'Gala dinner' scene. He's actually one of the useless wannabes that follow Tiffany around. I don't know what you see in him, Naomi. And according to her, they all hunch. Bad posture=bad stage presence. Also, Tiffany starts backing off (she walks backwards a little) when she threatens people. Not very threatening, and ultimately a flaw in the acting. But screw that, it was great fun, and the best student-run musical I've seen so far.

Today,

Denise: HAHA I can totally imagine you screaming "CHARGE!", and when they all run off, you go "HAHA losers".

Me: ya.

Me: Brandon will yell "CHARGE!", and he'll be the only one doing it.

Denise: *laughs hysterically*

2010-02-05T22:58:00.002+08:00

I'm beginning to dislike myself more and more everyday. It's not just to do with my body now. Every time something slips out of my mouth, I feel like an idiot for letting it. I do and say things I don't mean to and I end up beating myself up about it. I resent the way my body is, and what it makes me do, but I should not let it control my life. There seems to be a barrier within and around me that is preventing me from being good and better as a person. I find it hard to live my life properly now.

My insecurity has led me to believe all this, but am I wrong? Am I really better than all this? Surely these poignant questions do not help much to show how it truly feels inside of me, but this is as far as language takes me. I would like to believe I am capable of being happy and being good to the people I love but somehow there's a chain holding me to the ground, like the devil is pulling me back, pulling me away from the people I love.

I'm frightened.

2010-02-02T02:46:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I'm going in in ONE month, and I still have my skin problem. Not to mention it comes at a time when my significant other has several crucial milestone events in her life. I guess every other guy has encountered this, so like the rest, I'll just have to put up with it. Alternatively, I could break out, but that means prison so I'll go for the big picture.

At this point in my life, I think it is important that I learn some degree of control and maturity, and I believe the army might offer me that. I do not know what lies ahead for me but I suppose everything will turn out fine. As for the army, I think I'll have things I can look at that will tide me over during the difficult parts. Silver bands of surgical steel.

But now something is bugging me. The bloody skin. And I have no mood to do anything because this is bugging me. I'm getting worried I'll have to carry out the cream application regimen all through my 2 years. Which sucks.

2010-01-31T18:31:00.002+08:00

Lately I've been lying in bed a lot more than usual because I refuse to go out. My feet have become somewhat of a nightmare and I blame it on my new set of footwear. So right now I'm treating it with cream, which I must admit came a little late because being the stubborn jerk that I am, I refused to accept the obvious diagnosis. I also think it's partly due to my skin becoming dry because of the medication I'm on. Hopefully I can get rid of it before I enlist.

Well it's not that I have become a hermit. On Friday I went to UCC to attend Asher's play.

Me: (approaching the ticket counter) Hi, I'm here to collect my tickets. My name is Gareth.

Counter guy: Oh you're Asher's friend.

Me: (with so much pride) YES I AM.

Okay so I'm pathetic. But at least the play was awesome for some parts. The characters adopted a British accent that on occasion sounded pleasant, while other times it was mind boggling. It boggled the mind so much that I had a headache. Naomi had to get my boggling under control (she was suffering as well). I have to say I'm proud of my heritage of sorts, because two of my seniors (I think) played rather interesting characters. Naomi even wanted to adopt one of their accents because it was so... funny. The play had several episodes of blatant sexual humour that screamed "ACS", and altogether, there were intense scenes, as well as scenes that were so silly, it was almost ridiculous. I think we had great fun that night, and there shall be many more nights to come.

Yesterday I also spent another intelligent afternoon discussing Naomi's assignment. It helped to get my literature gears working again, although I do believe they need a bit of oil. They must have rusted from all the lazing around at home, not doing anything literature related. I can't say I miss literature as a subject either, but I do have some sense of missing school. I felt that as I was walking around school recently with Krupa, looking for teachers to chat with. I have left remnants of my presence there as a sign of my undying affection towards my school. My spirit will always always be there.

Today as we traveled around after mass, we were busy counting how many people were "reaching for the apples on the tree". Adam and Eve must have had it difficult, and screwed humanity over for generations past. But these apples are mine.

2010-01-25T17:17:00.003+08:00

My Big Fat Eating Birthday

22nd: My birthday, and Day 1 of the epic eating saga. Mom took me to the Grand Copthorne Waterfront where we ate at Brio. As usual, I ate a lot, and Naomi had fun at burgershack or something. I had the rich food and she had the fast food. Well this isn't all about me is it? Wait. Actually it is. I'm freaking 19 man I get to do whatever I want. I think. So I ate and I ate, and in the evening I had cake. The same cake I eat every year because I love that cake. There's still cake left over in the fridge if you're interested. I had an epic dinner also, so the gym trip the day before was completely washed down the toilet, with toilet paper thrown over it to make sure it's gone for good.

23rd: Another lunch date at Ju Shin Jung, this time with Naomi. She calls me a moron for paying for it myself, but secretly I know she has fun stuff prepared for me that's going to make my insides feel special, so I'm just preparing myself in case she decides to do something spectacular. She has been known to do that. She also happens to be an expert at these things, it's almost uncanny. You should have seen the way she looked at me when she was feasting on the long beans. Later she whispered something in my ear that sent chills down my spine to my special place. Well enough about special places. Later we went to watch New York I Love You, and it wasn't fantastic. When we saw The Time Traveler's Wife yesterday, we both agreed Rachel McAdams's butt is definitely better than Maggie Q.

In the evening I made my way to Bren's house to attend his BBQ, where I enjoyed some steak, had some laughs, and nearly choked on squid. I do not wish to mention the details of the party for reasons which only the people present would understand. I also proudly displayed Naomi's fantastic present that drew the attention of many of my friends. Yes folks, it has ONLY been around the head supported by a neck. Naomi has yet to return the favour.

24th: As usual, we woke up late and so we attended the 11am mass. We noticed the choir seems to be double dipping, hoping for a larger salary so I might actually go back. Unlike Naomi, I don't have talents that make people's insides feel special. Thai Express was our lunch destination, and was definitely incomparable to the Korean cuisine we had the day before. Either that, or I'm biased. After fattening up further on twister fries and the movie, I went with her to Jelita to get her smashing new haircut, that automatically gets me feeling special inside. Right now it seems as though she's getting to me. She can't seem to get her hands off me, and the fact that every post I have right now seems to have her inside makes it scary. I need to be wary. But... Naomi has yet to return the favour.

2010-01-22T00:33:00.002+08:00

Haaapeeee burrrrrf-dei tuuuuu MEEEEE.

I am 19. I feel happy. I'm going into army.

He: *walking along Arts corridor, and notices pictures of young men and women pasted on the railings* EH.

She: *stops to look as well*

He: what's this... *eyes narrow at the sight of another "pageant" thing where people have to vote for their favourite, like the failed Singapore Idol isn't enough*

She: oh these are the pageant winners from each Fac.

He: ah I see. *scans through rest of the pictures*

She: *follows behind, disgusted at the "black" looking goth people*

He: *stops abruptly* EH this girl wear her tube so low! can see ______ already.

She: OMG they could have at least Photoshopped in a cleavage for her la.

He: walau she wear until so low some more. *walks away after mentally digesting her canvas-like chest*

She: ya I can write my entire life story there la...

(brief silence)

She: OMG I JUST MADE A JOKE.

He: HAHAHA that is FORNEEEE! *secretly rolls eyes*

You did well Naomi! Don't give up your dream!

Later I went to gym with Krupa. He found it unproductive. I can barely lift my arms. I think army is going to do wonders for me. I won't go in Spartan and come out a god, but hopefully I'll come out a Spartan then.

2010-01-21T00:14:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging for a while, but here I am now. As it is, I am thoroughly bored at home and yet I am too lazy to go out and find something important to do. Perhaps the trip to school and the gym later might do me some good to cure my boredom. Krupa better not pang-seh me again.

On Tuesday I went with Adeline and Jeremy to jam at some random place (again), where they did not have a sustain pedal for the keyboard (again). Yes that was the reason, or at least one of the reasons why my face was not so pretty that day, besides the obvious blemishes. Unfortunately, we did not have very successful music that day, owing to the fact that we had no drummer and no bloody sustain pedal. Jeremy suggested I bring my own, which is a good point, but I don't know if I have one and more importantly, whether the one I might have actually works. Or is it the other way round... I'm confused.

After that we went to watch Daybreakers which is about (surprise surprise) vampires. Luckily there was no nonsense like shiny skin and telepathy, but more of gore and "fuck" in every sentence. Plus there were naked bodies that were being farmed for blood. Cool huh. Role reversal of your typical vampire-horror movie. I wonder if I should include spoilers. Hmmm...

On the train ride home, Jeremy and I had some guy time analyzing this guy and girl chatting, observing their behavioural patterns and such. Naomi, we should do that some time.

Speaking of farming, yesterday I had a rice ball.

Yes that was so amazing, I have to give it its own paragraph. The rice ball stall thing was very much like a Japanese Subway, so we chose our rice, which was purple rice (for expecting mothers) and wheat germ rice. As delectable as that sounds, we decided to go for the jugular. The insides consist of silverfish, seaweed chicken, chicken ham, asparagus and pickled cabbage filling. Tasty. To clear our pallet, we had takopachi balls and twister fries. Yum yum. I think my fats are accumulating, fast. Doom.

2010-01-15T00:44:00.003+08:00

I hate being sick. It makes me miserable, and inadvertently makes other people miserable.

I'll be spending the next few days at home.

House, if you're out there...

Differential diagnosis for a maculopapular rash, flu symptoms (with no fever), cracked lips and conjunctivitis.

Go.

2010-01-13T02:02:00.003+08:00

I've spent the most of my evening contemplating my future, discussing university issues with friends, and working on some artistic material, with limited success. I will be travelling to NUS to seek answers from the admissions office.

Yesterday I spent some time with Naomi to have lunch with her before her lecture. Old issues came up but everything is okay now.

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm the person I think I am now. I never thought I'd be 'that' kind of person but I realised that no one becomes the people they would like to be, unless they are lucky. They usually turn out uglier than they envisioned themselves to be in the future. If they are not uglier, than perhaps just not what they would have liked. I blame this on a person's fundamental flaws, such as selfishness and greed, but as my better half has told me before, not everyone is like that.

2010-01-11T23:30:00.011+08:00

I have begun to acquire an expensive taste for Starbucks coffee, having recently occupied the outlets whenever I felt like I had a lot of money in my wallet. "A lot" is not usually enough for most people but it is for me. My taste for coffee will get more refined as I grow older and earn more money, and hopefully I'll get to have a taste of Kopi Luwak once in my life. Instant forever sounds awful.

Speaking of shit coffee, I spent yesterday in good company, feeling flu-ey but happy. At least there's someone in my life I can thoroughly rely on, who is an excellent companion with whom I can openly share my feelings, both in my heart and other organs. I have also developed a liking for caramel hot chocolate.

And something to look forward to:

The Blockbuster TV Event of the Decade

Starring Bebe-chan as 배하미 (Bae Ha-mi), and Bobo-kun as 이성보 (Yi Sungbo)

Love, growing up, missed opportunities and second chances. 영원히 사랑 (Yeongwonhi sarang) tells the story of a young couple embarking on a journey through life that sees them go their separate ways. Yet, as fate would have it, their paths are destined to cross once again. This chance meeting not only re-ignites old passions, it triggers a chain of events that will change their lives forever. It promises to be an explosive journey!

Keep an eye on this space for more updates.

2010-01-09T21:43:00.002+08:00

6th January has passed, D-Day is over and I'm still here. I'm still breathing. I cannot understand why and neither can some people. Just ask TC. But this post is not going to be about me rationalising how this was "a learning experience", or how it "isn't so bad". I would prefer to detail how I spent the past few days and how I intend to live out the next few years of my life

After getting my results, I met up with Naomi and we went to 'sit and talk', to calm my nerves and discuss other plans. Of course the question of universities came up but I politely interjected with joking remarks about the lack of movies to watch these days. You know it's when you want to watch a good movie that they don't have them, and when you want to study that they have the best movies. The next day I went with Adeline to catch Avatar where there were Amazing blue naked Aliens. Just yesterday I spent time at Krupa's where they didn't have the patience to watch Sweeney Todd, so I ended up watching the mindless Wolverine again.

Today was better, not just because I was out with Naomi again, but because I did more intelligible stuff like reading Winterson and having coffee. After quietly enjoying the lesbian relationship depicted and getting distracted by recounts of our exciting dreams, we finished up the coffee and the paragraph and left because she had a date with her friend. We had a laugh on the 156 when we started making Domo-kun faces and taking pictures. The other passengers on the bus must have been thoroughly disturbed by the giggling and the contorted faces. Lucky for them, our ride wasn't long. Oh if only I did not have a sore throat.

2010-01-01T13:43:00.002+08:00

I would like to begin with "HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!" because that is just "how we roll" man. Of course I would like to tell you about my so-called "RESOLUTIONS that never get fulfilled" because the rest of the world does it as well. I suppose it is good to resolve to be better or do something different or improve on something but at the same time, I stand by my principle (and House's as well, but I came up with it first) that people don't change. Unless you have brain damage and you begin to have an aversion to ice cream in which case, if you're a fat guy, I'd say you're lucky, otherwise, I'd feel sorry for you.

Get fit
Get nice
Get rich(er)
Get less horny
Get to my cello and piano more
Get my life in order
Love Naomi more ♥

Speaking of horny and ice cream, I spent New Year's Eve with Naomi on our planned expedition to Dempsey hill where we enjoyed 2 scoops of Ben & Jerry's. While 2 scoops isn't enough to get a Gabriel Long fat, it was enough to get me sleepy and self conscious about the growing number of spare tires around my stomach. At least I was not self conscious alone, albeit about different things, but the other thing I shall not say because it has to do with the human anatomy and NOT ME. After torturing Naomi by making her finish her food like a Sook Ching torturer, I had to torture her some more by making her watch 20th Century Boys II with me. She could secretly be a masochist because now she wants to watch the third installation with me but I won't complain. After the free ice cream (because "I'm the man") and movie, we chilled for a while thinking about what to do and where to go after, and at the same time we were mesmerised by lesbian love. And then Backstreet Boys came on, and I made a music video of Naomi, and I was laughing and and and and adn dan nad it was time to leave.

Sure enough we continued enjoying each other while walking to the busst op to take the bust o Orchard to have dinner. Clearly we were still dreaming about the lesbians because we did not eat much, although the fail mocha and double chocolate frappes were enough to inflate my tires further. After which I flew Naomi home ON TIME so that we could hang out by the poolside.

Her Mom and Dad invited me upstairs for some steak which was honestly really good, and after a glass of white and red we went back downstairs for some private time. And yes, I mean private.

Then came the highlight of the evening. We took a dive into the pool and the water was freezing. Luckily I had shorts to wear so I wouldn't have to go home dripping and getting smothered by a drunk Indian lady with a fetish for wet guys. Naomi shivered like crazy but I shivered a little, because I'm macho that way, and we had quite a lovely scene if you were to stand by the poolside with a camera. Then we could have filmed a remake of Titanic but only this time, Jack and Rose would be doing handstands in the water. We had a few giggles (let's leave it at that) and then I had to leave. How unfortunate that a lovely night with a full moon had to end so quickly.

Bus service, you suck.

2009-12-30T22:40:00.002+08:00

Technology can be a bitch sometimes. God never intended for us to be typing on keyboards when he created trees and birds but somehow we managed to come up with the wheel and sarcasm along the way, and we were too intelligent for our own good. Soon micro chips became part of everyday life, and potato chips became part of our unhealthy, diabetes-inducing diets. Our creations have made our lives simpler, our tasks less challenging. We are now able to calculate and compute at blistering speeds, travel between countries in a matter of hours and communicate with anyone across the globe, and yet, we are still miserable. We agonize over lost data, missed flights and that spare tire festering around our abdomens. Surely, we must have brought this on ourselves.

However, I have to thank technology for my time spent with Naomi today. We managed to catch her favourite movie 'Be With You' on her Hi-Def, surround sound laptop. The way which the story was constructed played out beautifully and it captures your emotional side and wrings it dry of sentimentality. Your eyes will at least glisten, if not water a little, by the end of the movie. Even though the subtitles to 20th Century Boys 2 didn't work, we made up for my stupidity (and technology's complexity) by watching the latest episodes of House.

I guess technology can't be that bad.

2009-12-29T22:09:00.001+08:00

The day started out boring as usual. I woke up in my luxury 17 star suite with my automatic breakfast in bed machine and did my morning yoga exercise before heading down 2 storeys to my dining room to have lunch. Then Adeline suddenly had the idea to go jamming with the buddies, so I went. It didn't take me long to get to Chinese Garden because I had the private helicopter to take me (it has it's own minibar and foldable pool table too). Once again the keyboards weren't so excellent and I think I very much prefer ktv-ing with my darling, considering they have at least some snow patrol songs. I only managed to play half a snow patrol song today and Adeline can't sing anyway so too bad.

While Naomi was busy ktv-ing at her Chinese villa, I went with the jamming group to have some gourmet char kway teow and then some premium ice cream at some udderly nippleful place. Of course we had to choose the flavours with the most alcohol content because "that's just cool", after which we continued gossiping about boobs and eyes.

I need to learn more songs.

2009-12-28T23:18:00.002+08:00

Today I spent time with Naomi going round malls and watching Sherlock Holmes. I have to say, Robert Downey Jr. is odd as the character because he doesn't seem to have the demeanor of the legendary detective created by the late Conan Doyle but at times, I did get reminded of House, which is always a good thing.

It would be great if I could plan every punch of mine so accurately and effectively before actually discombobulating the guy.

We then went to have major talk and hang out session stuff in a private chamber at Starbucks where I enjoyed a cafe mocha and she had hot chocolate. Of course we had it free because I own the place. After all, I am a genius. I then escorted her back home in my private limousine where we had wild, animalistic fun in the back seat with the tinted windows. As she flew up to her balcony, I blew her a kiss which sent her soul blissfully into emotional ecstasy. The End.

2009-12-17T00:01:00.002+08:00

And so begins the next few days leading up to Christmas. I spent yesterday (which was 2 minutes ago) with my family having lunch at Orchard Hotel, celebrating my Mom's birthday.

I feel fat. For the first time in my life. I feel fat.

My darling, I will miss you. <3

2009-12-07T22:24:00.002+08:00

Today was the last day of work for the Penguin people, exhausted after 6 grueling days of dusty books and blue baskets. It was mostly the blue baskets during the short stint so I did not get to enjoy much of the books for the 4 days of the warehouse sale, and in addition, I now have a numb toe, possibly from the continuous walking and delivering of books that killed some nerve endings in my right foot.

Most of the people I saw during the past few days were strangers, and I have not been online lately to talk to my other friends. Naomi was lucky to meet lots of her friends, so I guess my friends don't really read books. However I did meet a few, notably Uncle Auyeong from my time at COE in my past life, and Lisa (share Ayn Rand please).

After our final 4 hours of work today, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction earning some money from developing a phobia of blue baskets. At the same time, the completely mundane nature of my tasks has lowered my IQ over the past 6 days (from a high level, contrary to whatever you're thinking now) to the point where I am posting something so indulgent and plebeian.

2009-11-30T18:38:00.004+08:00

Most of us are now spending time at home with our families, playing computer games, reading novels, fingering the cello and prodding the piano aimlessly. There are also those who are out earning some pocket money at a random job, but what we all have in common is that we are quietly contemplating plans for our future. We are at the crossroads to the next stage of our lives, and the choices we make from now on weigh more heavily on us than deciding whether to skip school on Tuesdays.

Most of my species will be happily defending the nation, so our lives will be taking us to a mosquito infested island before it takes us to a liar-infested corporate world, where six-legged blood suckers now take the form of money hungry con-men in Armani outfits. My rather acerbic statements suggest that I'd rather live a life of simplicity, but quite the contrary. I want to be filthy stinkin' rich by the time I'm 25. My life will be a lot easier then. But alas, I was not born with a Lexus ready for me at 18, nor a promise of a BMW if I should get 45 points. If I was, I wouldn't be getting the BMW anyway, but at least I'll have a car!

It would be naive to believe any life is easy, but it would be nice to have everything planned out like the inevitable doom of enlisting in March. Then perhaps I'd only have to choose between the aerosol spray and the lotion for the rest of my life. I envy these people with the silver spoon, fork, and iPhone, and I pity those who think they can make more of themselves because they had the tougher route in life. It is more cruel than that.

It does not matter how, or where you were born. What people say about the hardworking people is not always true. For my own sake, I would like to believe that. I would like to live my life believing that I can make something of myself, no matter how many of the 45 points available I actually get (fingers and toes crossed). At the moment I do not wish to be deluded into thinking I am the sort that is naturally motivated because I have a bronze spoon.

Now, the decisions I have to make will not be easy, but they will be simple.

2009-11-20T17:39:00.004+08:00

Hello world.

I'm back!

For all the 5 viewers of my blog who missed me, fret not.

The one and only is BACK.

Okay considering that I've said I'm back twice already just shows how much I have to say. I'm just glad that all this is over, honestly. In fact, I am experiencing the same effect as everyone else: having nothing to do, and feeling empty. Surprising, considering how much I've done over these two years.

Perhaps the most logical explanation for all that we feel now is that our lives have been dominated by this for the past two years that we have nothing else to rely on, but in trying to rationalise our post-exam lives, we are indeed revealing how bored we truly are.

Right now, my mind is clouded with laziness and nothingness, so just let me bask in the ecstasy of my freedom, and gratify my deep hidden desires for House.

2009-11-03T11:20:00.002+08:00

2009-10-05T23:54:00.001+08:00

"No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible." - George Chakiris

2009-09-30T10:38:00.000+08:00

2009-09-28T15:33:00.003+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, people of good faith,

I wish to announce that from this moment on, this blog (and all other activities as such) shall be put on hold temporarily (or rather, shifted down Gareth's list of priorities) because the writer is going through an epic phase of his life that cannot possibly be put into words. Only letters.

IB.

Ok fine it could be put into words but to stay true to my nature, I shall stick to this.

Of course, if I should feel the need to openly voice my emotions, I might post something of value here, but, my emotions are now directed towards something, or someone, of far greater importance.

2009-09-01T18:24:00.000+08:00

The Reformer: -6
The Helper: 3
The Motivator: 0
The Artist: 1
The Thinker: -4
The Skeptic: 9
The Generalist: -1
The Leader: -3
The Peacemaker: 1

So I need security.

2009-08-31T22:41:00.000+08:00

Life is a big fat farce. It's all about the irony. And it's because our choices are ironic. We do something without the intention of having an undesirable effect, and sometimes we are so blind to it that we just keep going like nothing's going to happen, like nothing is going to change.

Consequences are there for a reason. It is to teach us the price of every decision we make. I've learned a lot, paid some heavy prices, but, when will I be bankrupt? When will my choices cease to boomerang on back and bite me in the ass?

I think, I wait, and I fast.

2009-08-19T19:56:00.001+08:00

I am highly discombobulated.

2009-08-17T16:16:00.000+08:00

I haven't had time to blog of late, largely due to the heavy workload and other activities. The usual excuses.
But Keane was awesome. A great night it was.
Now, it's time to get back on track, back to the way things were, back to what is right.

2009-08-07T16:05:00.002+08:00

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
- Mother Teresa

"If one feels horrible inside, lonely and powerless, it is because he is connected with her, and she is feeling the same way too. So, my child, if you are hurting inside, do you not think he is hurting as well?"

"We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love." - Freud
Freud quotes are so the rage now.

So the moon was round. Now I will wait for a sound.

2009-07-26T00:02:00.006+08:00

The difference between curiosity and comfort is that while one gives us the answers, it may not necessarily offer us the serenity we most innately desire. This is a weakness we all share, and sadly it is also part of the human condition to want comfort and peace with our inner most being. On the other hand, it is safe to say that comfort is derived from satisfaction, as part of the logical deduction that knowing everything will gratify our desires, quench the thirst of our mind, and allow us to solve the puzzle. Surely, there is nothing better than knowing all the answers to all our questions. But is it possible to be happy without knowing?

There lies an intrigue, an insistence of deflection, yet brimming with convoluted thoughts of whether to walk away, or be cheated into an illusion when some emo junkie asks us to "pick a card, any card". We don't want to be cheated, but we want to be fascinated. We don't want to trust, or believe, the fan of cards before us, even as it taunts us with the red and white flowers falling in a symmetry, so perfect that our innermost desires to be amazed take precedence over dismissing this as "just another trick". We pick anyway because of the underlying weakness of the human condition. Just to test the water. We are told to put the card back in the deck, which lures us into the next step of the card trick, and now we are at the complete mercy of the magician. We look on nervously as the magician does his magic, and as the trick unfolds before our eyes, we wait of the Prestige: the great reveal, the sudden moment of sheer amazement.

"How did he do that?!" Always the first thing we ask. Yet we know we won't get the answer. We ask anyway because we're too dumbfounded to figure out something else to say. We also ask because we're selfish, because it is much more comforting to think that we care and hopefully find the answer. The magician himself would be amazed if you didn't even contemplate why or how it worked, which is why it is perfectly normal for us to doubt, to judge, to ask and question. Trust doesn't work that way. It is a strong word, and in many ways, stronger than believing. Trusting the magician with your feelings is a lot harder than just believing you will be amazed by the end of the trick, because neither you nor he will know when the trick, for lack of a better word, screws up. Believing gives us emotional insurance in case an accident happens. Trusting holds our feelings hostage, but the reward at the end of the day is always better.

Faith works the same way trust. It is not the same as hope even though the two are synonyms, because of the way "sitting and waiting" works. We sit and wait because we want to be patient while the results unfold before us, while the magician is doing his trick. But at the same time, we are not doing anything, simply because we are waiting. Here I suggest that we sit, but not wait. While the card trick is being performed, it is always nice to share the moment with a friend. Of course, that friend or otherwise will need to reciprocate: sit and not wait. By the end of the trick, they will both be amazed, and even more amazed because they shared this amazement together. Faith encompasses sitting and not waiting. Hope just waits around like a homeless man waiting for money to fall in his hat, when he should be looking through Recruit instead. This is why people say "hope is a waking man's dream", and why people "have faith in God", not hope. You don't have to hope in him, but having faith in him means doing something about it as well. Consequently, you will do the things that drive your faith because of what you know to be right, trusting that at the end of the journey, you will get what you came for.

These statements are by no means definitive or even factual by any standards, but they are true to me. And because I will never know the absolute truth, I just need to have faith in what I already know, and trust the magician.

2009-07-16T20:57:00.001+08:00

2009-07-09T19:15:00.008+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99, (or '09 in our case, but it's not part of the lyrics)

Wear Sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,

Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my

Own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice

Now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.

Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power

And beauty of your youth until they've faded.

But trust me, in twenty years, you'll look back at photos of yourself

And recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you

And how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future

Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as
Trying to solve an algebra equation

By chewing bubble gum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things

That never crossed your worried mind:

The kind that blindsides you at 4p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts;

Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind,

The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults;

If you succeed in doing this,

Tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.

The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22

What they wanted to do with their lives.

Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll divorce at 40.

Maybe you'll dance the "Funky Chicken" on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much,

Or berate yourself either.

Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can.

Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it;

It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance.

Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room,

Read the directions even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines,

They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents:

You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they are your best link to your past,

And the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,

But with a precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle for

As the older you get, the more you need the people you knew

When you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths:

Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old

And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young,

Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble,

And children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse,

But you'll never know when either one will run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia: dispensing it is a way of

Fishing the past from the disposal,

Wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and

Recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

2009-07-02T12:16:00.004+08:00

"The Call"

It started out as a feeling,

Which then grew into a hope,

Which then turned into a quiet thought,

Which then turned into a quiet word.

And then that word grew louder and louder

Till it was a battle cry:

I'll come back when you call me,

No need to say goodbye.

Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never been this way before.

All you can do is try to know who your friends are

As you head off to the war.

Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.

You'll come back when it's over,

No need to say goodbye.

Now we're back to the beginning;

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet,

But just because they can't feel it too

Doesn't mean that you have to forget.

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger

Till they're before your eyes.

You'll come back when they call you,

No need to say goodbye.

2009-06-20T12:56:00.009+08:00

As I sit here listening to Snow Patrol, typing this post, I realise that I should not be doing what I'm doing because I need to study.

I also realise that at this point of my life, I have written too many posts that are similar to the one I am about to write.

No no, it's not those useless, lazy posts that are just lyrics to a song that have some apparent abstract, subtle, surreptitious meaning that I foolishly believe people will understand . It is those unsuccessful attempts at being introspective, so that I might appear to be UP THERE with the intellectuals of my generation.

But I also realise that there are people who appreciate my failed attempts, my maladroit use of sesquipedalian terms, and literary faux pas. They love to write themselves, and they know that I'm not UP THERE, but they visit every other day because I have something to offer, and they try really hard to decipher my language. My writing may not be fahntastik, but people identify with my ideas and thoughts. These people deserve a standing ovation for giving me the hope I need to keep writing overbearing posts about my so called emo-isms. Not that my posts are emo anyway, but you get the point.

So, despite my consistent lethologica, I want to continue to write these crummy posts, because I have to inform people of the things that they are not ready to come to terms with yet by themselves. I also need to write, because I need to tell the people who appreciate me that I appreciate them as well.

2009-06-14T00:12:00.001+08:00

Why so stupid.

Nahdting is cahming!

2009-05-31T20:43:00.005+08:00

The winters mar the Earth

It's floor was frozen glass

You slip into my arms

And you quickly correct yourself

Your freezing speech bubbles

Seem to hold your words aloft

I want the smoky clouds of laughter

To swim about me forever more

I will race you to the water side,

And from the edge of Ireland shout out loud

So they could hear it in America

It's all for you

The shells crack under our shoes

Like punctuation points

The Planets Bend Between Us

A hundred million suns and stars

The sea filled in the silence

Before you sang those words

And now even in the darkness

I can see how happy you are

2009-05-15T23:24:00.004+08:00

I recently did an essay about happiness. It involved me analysing the novels that I study at the moment for the literary effects and authorial intention for the use of the concept of happiness. Be it meditating to the point of deep, slumber inducing monotony, or aneurysm inducing tribal "games", happiness can be extracted from even the deepest, unknown chasms.

However, we often fail to realise that it might be somewhat incongruous and asinine to make a trip to the Canadian border and fall 52 metres before realising that happiness can be found at home. We take for granted the subtle delights that we face everyday because we're too caught up with ourselves.

Prodding of my kidneys every morning to wake me up for school,

Then waiting for me after to take me home, where I wait for dinner.

The kind words and thoughtful greetings. The company alone is enough, the sweet silence

painting our every thought, our every emotion. I'm lucky. I'm undeserving.

Really, what we need is just the sunshine after the rain.

2009-05-07T17:58:00.005+08:00

Understand?

Understood.

Understooded

2009-04-18T21:53:00.000+08:00

2009-04-18T21:27:00.001+08:00

Closer (Acoustic Version) - Travis

2009-04-13T17:48:00.014+08:00

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2009-04-09T23:14:00.002+08:00

I have come to a point in my life where I realise that it is no longer useful, fruitful or practical to resent everything I don't have, but rather to be thankful for everything I have. It does no good for my spirit, for the harmony of my spheres, the spheres which surround me. Especially when you're in a place where Converse trumps Bata in a debate competition or an illegal Bridge game in class, you have to be grateful for those spheres that will stick by you even when there's disharmony in your own sphere, when you play the wrong suit because you simply suck.

You have never given up on me, no matter what. Question is, have I been so contemptuous to give up on myself?

You have never given up on me, and I don't deserve you. What you give, no one else can give; not even I can give it back.

You all are the ones who deserve the congratulations. For putting up with me when I frustrate and annoy; when I pretend I'm "all that". You are the one who swats the fluff from the gray, beaming a ray that makes me look forward to everyday, and you don't know it. But I do. I'd never have acknowledged it before, but now, I do.

Maybe sometimes, the laces shouldn't be on so tight. And Converse shoes have holes in them.

2009-03-26T02:06:00.005+08:00

Don't ask me why I'm posting at this hour.

Ok fine I'll tell you anyway. I slept earlier so now I'm up, supposedly being productive (not a sexual metaphor), supposedly doing all the backlog that was due ages ago.

I'm up now, thinking. 18 years have passed and what have I done with my life that is noteworthy, that is worth a standing ovation. Nothing. Yes you say that I expect too much of myself, but I don't. See the paradox here: I am disappointed I have not contributed exceptionally to my gene pool, but at the same time, I never expected to. Where is this ambivalence coming from? Is it Hesse or Jungian theory?

18 years have allowed me to feel a kaleidoscope of emotions. It has given me a taste of estatic victory (Jaiho!), deep infatuation, utter disappointment and even betrayal. The nostalgia at 2am on a Thursday morning only reminds me of the ephemeral, because anything else wouldn't be befitting of a teenager whose hormones are on speeeeeed.

Snow Patrol's songs are catalytic in nature as well. The Run's and You Could Be Happy's make me want to Set the Fire to the Umpteenth Bar so that I can just burn these away. These, being the memories of failure, unsound decision and opportunities that flew over my head.

Go away, my shadow.

2009-03-19T20:58:00.001+08:00

For all Liverpool fans, today's article on page B9 of The Straits Times is just for you.

Today being the 19th of March, Thursday.

2009-03-18T19:30:00.004+08:00

Hello sick people and their loved ones. Unfortunately, Dr House isn't in right now, but you have one of his biggest fans here (ok maybe not as big as some people *glares at Naomi*, but my ego is big enough to fill this blog space). Actually, that last sentence deserves to be outside the bracket.

Some people have their ego so big it fills an entire networking website.

I've been heavily critical of hypocrisy in the past, but I also understand that hypocrisy governs the world, and people. So do lies, deceit and money. Surely this is somewhat cynical but cynicism has enabled me to look deeper, and see what people really are, understand how people think, and why they do what they do. Hypocrisy prevails because the lie is always better than the truth. We know that people would rather hear the lie because it makes us look better. It makes us something we're not, and people like to see that. They like to see the good stuff. Eventually, they will believe the admirable, affable, virtuous people that we pretend to be.

Exactly the reason why I'm cynical, so that I can see past that pitiful mask people wear. The mask that hides the wrong we do, the things we are guilty for. And when people see past that mask, that lie, then what do we do? We lie some more, so that it seems as though we're looking for absolution. We pretend (again) that we're going to change, become a better person, do good deeds, donate to charity. For what? To feed our selfish ways, gratify our egotistical needs. It supposedly takes the guilt away from the 'evil' we've done, and yet we knowingly do it again, because beneath the pretty mask is the same old ugly, pathetic excuse for a person.

Everything good becomes tainted with lies, and I feel quite sorry for the group of people who indulge your selfish whim. Talk is cheap. Yours is. It really is.

There is sight in blindness though. I just hope people choose to see the right behind the wrong, the truth behind the lie.

2009-03-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

Just attended OMM's Symphonie Espagnole, and all I can say (and can afford to say) now is that it was delightfully delicate, and brilliant when it needed to be brilliant. Well done.

2009-03-02T00:59:00.003+08:00

People make mistakes, then people regret those mistakes. It's because people are weak. They do what they want to do which makes them happy, and then after that instant, gratifying moment, they realise that they've been selfish. Selfish not only because they did it for themselves, they did it at the expense of others. Surely, this is called "being a jerk".

Self-restraint is the answer. But first the entire being has to change. How? If I knew that, I wouldn't need to be in school anymore. I wouldn't need to be emo-ing (or not, I hope) here. So, the verdict out now is, people don't change, but their choices change. Hopefully, eventually, this will cause the being to change. Think short-run, long-run.

Stop the inflation of ego.

2009-02-15T22:56:00.001+08:00

2009-02-08T20:10:00.014+08:00

The Physics practical gone horribly wrong:

Graciously completed by his Sister-in-Law-to-be (otherwise, THE ONE, and THE ONLY, self-glorifying goddess, who is, The Real Deal

Task: To Investigate a ~~BALLOON~~ CONDOM

Title of investigation: Flying Condoms

Aim of investigation: To determine the effect of the circumference of the opening of a condom on the speed at which it flies in a straight line when filled with air and then released.

Variable to be investigated: Circumference of the opening of a condom

Apparatus:

Lots of string
Metre rule (or if you’re using a super condom, you might want to have many metre rules.)
Kitchen roll (remove all the paper first)
Vernier Caliper
Digital stopwatch (or if you really must, analog could work.)
4 bikini clad girls (to be labeled Amy, Bella, CoCo and Donna)
G.D.C. (unless you can calculate the speed mentally; and if you can, you’re a freak.)
Condoms of variable opening circumference (0.5cm, 1.0cm, 1.5cm, 2.0cm, 2.5cm, 3.0cm; to be labeled C1, C2, C3, C4, C5, C6 respectively.) * Please change the measurements; unfortunately, I don’t really know how big they can get. Yes, SHAME. * [actually, I do know how big condoms can get. A girl did this, if you must know]
Gum (Spearmint works best.)

Procedure:

Blow up the condom C1 – not explode/implode it, but rather, blow air into it. If you really need details for this, it involves taking a deep breath, *drum roll*, putting your mouth to the opening of the condom, and pushing the air out of your mouth into the condom.
Blow air into the condom until the diameter of the airy condom is exactly 3.0cm. Use a Vernier Caliper for this. Be careful not to puncture the condom though.
Using the gum, secure C1 to the kitchen roll. Be sure not to let any of your aromatic breath escape the condom.
Using the string, string up (duh.) the kitchen roll which should have a condom attached to it, and if not, go back to step 3.
Amy should be holding one end of the string, and Bella, the other. They should be standing at least 5m apart – we must not underestimate the avionic powers/prowess of condoms.
When both you and CoCo are ready, release the condom and let it fly like a free bird (WHOO!!~~) along the line of string from Amy’s end to Bella’s end. CoCo should use the stopwatch to measure the time from when the condom is released to when it stops, limp and no longer erect.
Donna should then use the metre rule(s) to measure the distance the condom has flown.
Repeat steps 1 to 7 for C2 to C6.
Record your findings in the table below, using your G.C. to calculate the speed.
Repeat the entire experiment another two times to get an average set of results. (Plus you get to frolic with Amy, Bella, CoCo and Donna longer.)

So there you go. Credits to Naomi "I'm-2-hot-2-handle-goddess-of-hotness" Goh for that insightful look into how a physics practical should be. *hint hint, looks at the T.C.*

I have great friends.

2009-01-30T22:43:00.004+08:00

I broke into your house last night

And left a note at your bedside

I'm far too shy to speak to you at school

You leave me numb and I'm not sure why

I find it easier to sit and stare

Than push limbs out towards you right there

My heart is bursting in your perfect eyes

As blue as oceans and as pure as skies

Struggle for the words and then give up

My head's up with the birds in the T-hut

Little piece of mind that I know better

Than the plain disgrace of all my letters

But after that the floodgates opened up

And I fell in love with everyone I saw

Please take your time I'm not in any rush

And it's in everything I'd ever write

It's not as if I need the extra weight

Confused enough by life, so thanks a lot

Lonely written words for company

Just raise the roof this once and follow me

2009-01-26T11:03:00.005+08:00

Samson - Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

2009-01-25T20:20:00.001+08:00

You'll need to turn up the volume a little on this, but if you can't hear very much, it's still just as powerful. Nice one from Enakshi (I'm not actually gonna call you that from now on right?)

2009-01-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

So as a paced up and down my apartment like how Hedda paces around her cage, I managed to come up with a ridiculous and completely lousy wlit 1 topic, which will almost certainly be rejected by Queen Me. Not giving 2 hoots about it, but 3, I went out.

"You don't alter a Vera to fit you, you alter yourself to fit the Vera" reverberates throughout my head at the moment. While it may apply to dresses figuratively, imagine what else it could mean in the real world. In our world.

No lecture today. Class is dismissed.

2009-01-20T20:53:00.006+08:00

It's not that I don't care.

It's not like you do anyway.

It's not that I'm insincere.

It's not as if I forgot (guilty as charged).

It's not as if you're not my friend.

It's because I do care.

It's because it doesn't matter what you think, as long as I know I've done my peace.

It's because open material sincerity probably means you don't trust that person.

It's because IB is probably the same excuse you'll use.

It's because one year is enough.

If you see this, well... Happy One-Eight =)

2009-01-16T23:28:00.003+08:00

As the year progresses, the posts will become more and more erratic in frequency. Of course, as I've said before, no one reads this so it doesn't matter. No, this is not a plea for attention, through gaining the sympathy of those who are already on this page, but rather, it is the hard, and honest truth.

Truth is a funny thing, and in all truthfulness, I'm gonna makes this short because I have other priorities right now. What are my ways of knowing you might say. Well, I say, ask the world (which have schools) about this knowledge issue. *See...* First, the truth makes people hurt you. Simon Cowell can attest to this. When you let someone know the truth, it hurts them, and most of the time, it's not because they think you're too harsh or whatever idea people conjure, but, it's because they know themselves that it's true. And guess what, now the rest of the world knows. That's why they hate you. Also, if you are blunt, it might come across as harsh as well. Now honestly, do you think you'll listen? I know I won't, unless you put it right up front like a stray dog on the highway.

Next, the truth makes you hate people. This is both similar, and different from the one mentioned earlier. So let's consider this. We know the truth about ourselves, and we completely detest the person we are, or have become. And eventually, we realise that other people might share the sentiment as well. Paranoia. No, I know the truth. Surely you mustn't think that I can't see it. I can. I should.

Blaming anyone at all won't solve anything. It is just the way it is.

2009-01-01T22:20:00.003+08:00

As we look back on the year 2008, we recall all the experiences, the relationships we've fostered (even up till the very last minute), the lessons we've learnt, lessons we've not learnt, and so on. The old habits die hard, especially when you have a sentimental heart, but... But, that's what the new year is all about. New beginnings, new journeys. New mistakes, new heartaches. New tragedies, and new resolutions. I'm not a 'glass-is-half-full' kinda guy, so I don't look forward to anything. And I don't look forward to doing anything either. Because, it's like wringing out the last few drops, just to reach the brim. Not that I look forward to reaching the brim either. It doesn't make me a hypocrite, but could mean either one of 2 things. First, I spill the glass I have now, or, I have water left over. Come this time next year, we'll see.

Luckily for people like me, we learn things along the way. Things that colour our water. Things that amuse us. Like, having our first kiss. Unfortunately (sorry to disappoint), people like us have to wait a much longer time for our next one, much like how school is starting this year. At least there are lessons like these that could satisfy our every fantastic, impulsive whim of a notion of what we'd rather learn, other than Complex Numbers and the Brewster's angle. I mean, where else can you learn to close your eyes when you kiss someone? Do you think looking cross-eyed is going to get you the girl/guy?

Which is why I say here's to all who take in everything life has to offer, and colour their water, so that when everyone reaches the brim, it doesn't become about who got there first, it's who made the most of it.

2008-12-31T11:29:00.003+08:00

Back from the much anticipated and highly publicised Christmas break, which was completely a waste of my time. Santa Claus in his new red jumpsuit apparatus and jetpack wasn't even in sight! Was I naughty this year, huh? Even the lights along Orchard Road failed to ignite the commercialised spirit in my heart this year. AND and, all the movies on the goggle box (which I have so gracefully entrusted my eyes to this holiday) were absolutely horrible, and they tried to dress it up with 'give-aways'. Come on, if it's bad, don't dress it up with prizes. Maybe a house, or a car, or that new racing car game, anything that resembles a car! PLEASE! Maybe even some greens (or purples, oranges, blues), you know, in light of the economic crisis.

Yup, nothing's better than getting some oversized, outrageously priced present for Christmas.

So anyway, yesterday, being the 30th and all, was grossly boring. First of all, the thing on my mind (and your mind too, if you're reading this now) that troubles me dearly at the moment would be the 2nd of January. Second, is the next thing on my mind. How do I spend my time tomorrow? (today)
Do I celebrate (uh-huh, I'm still thinking)? Or do I do work (once again, still thinking)? Death is coming so why bother? Anyway, like a sign from heaven, Hell called. I have to admit, I spent a good 20 seconds thinking 'have the demons come after me already?' Then I thought to myself, and recalled the time when a certain someone came up with the joke that some particular person we know, who's favourite moan/howl/cry is also the name of a famous communist leader (ok la give chance, it's Mao[wr]), has Hell for a mouth, and the only things saving us from final damnation is 2 rubber bands and his/her boyfriend/girlfriend (yes, till now I am still confused). And in my youthful vigour and childishness, I changed her/his name in my phone. Wonder who it was that came up with that despicable joke. Must be one of Aang-with-no-blue-arrow-on-the-head-but-half-a-head-of-hair's young disciples. Oh well, despicable or not, it's a good one. You have taught us well, oh half bald one.

So when I realised that Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell was indeed Claire after all (sorry I was lazy to write 'him/her', and besides, you're gonna find out sooner or later), it was scant consolation - I was going to have a torrid time listening to a demon's voice anyway. I'm sure Shaun would agree too. He even predicted accurately that Hell was gonna call us in the morning to irritate us and tempt us to the dark side. But we were strong, and resisted the lure of the dark side of the force, and went back to sleep.

2008-12-21T01:03:00.011+08:00

Why do let me stay here?
All by myself
Why don't you come and play here?
I'm just sitting on the shelf

Why don't you sit right down and stay awhile?
We like the same things and I like your style
Its not a secret; why do you keep it?
I'm just sitting on the shelf

I got to get your presence
Let's make it known
I think you're just so pleasant
I would like you for my own

Why don't you sit right down and make me smile? (uh huh)
You make me feel like I am just a child
Why do you end it?
Just give me credit
I'm just sitting on the shelf

She & Him are an American band comprising of actress Zooey Deschanel (Yes Man, Failure to Launch, The Happening) and musician M. Ward. Their first album,Volume One was released March this year and 'Why do You Let Me Stay Here' is their only single from their album.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have a new crush...

2008-12-17T00:10:00.002+08:00

One Art

By Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

2008-12-16T18:56:00.006+08:00

Like all emo and really interesting blogs, I shall start off by saying "oh no life sucks I'm SOOO gonna die tomorrow I hate school why do we have exams blahh blahh blahh I'm so lonely now if only he (or she) will like me blahh blahh blahh boohoo" *inhales* "I want to go out home is so boring I have to do stupid TOK and EE if only school didn't start so quickly ehh Christmas very boring and silent this year lehh blahh blahh blahh".

Yesterday I went to chill with the Enoch gang (yes, but only this once, the name shall change for future posts) and we caught Twilight. While I have to say the filming style was reminiscient of the Twilight Zone (shading was so bleak, it was almost black and white), the film on a whole was very 'chick-flicky'. How predictable. No not the film, the audience. And when the oh-so-gorgeous-and-boyish-looking Robert Pattinson, better known as Edward Cullen *cringes* appeared on screen, the audience let out amazingly authentic cat-calls that it was almost as if Jeff Corwin and Richard Attenborough were sitting on either side of me. Girls these days. Really. It's not as if he's like really super hot you know. I mean, a guy wouldn't make a cat-call like that when he saw another guy, right? *cringes again* Okay I'm awake now. No Jeff or Richard, just Nigel and Cow.

But I did make cat-calls at Bella Swan. I mean, tell me, is she not perfect?

I got nothing else to say really, because this just goes beyong words could ever, EVER describe.

2008-12-11T12:23:00.002+08:00

I cannot remember the last time I did something like this (and for good reason too). I really couldn't care less to look into the archives either (for other reasons). But for the pure entertainment value of observing the absurdity of chance and my music library, I shall do this.

How does the world see me?

Unbelievable - Craig David (like, wow... )

Will I have a happy life?

Papercut / Big Pimpin' - Linkin Park feat. Jay Z (so far, so damn good)

What do my friends think of me?

Graduation (Friends Forever) - Vitamin C (it just keeps getting better and better)

What do people secretly think of me?

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol (really?)

How can I be happy?

Sing for Absolution - Muse (alright, it has some truth to it...)

What should I do with my life?

Make Love to Me Forever - Snow Patrol (to myself? Thats is SOOOO wrong)

Will I ever have children?

The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts - Sufjan Stevens (ok I shall spend a little more time on this one. See, the man of Metropolis is actually Superman. Well, as far as I know, Superman has not many children. On the other hand, he's not real. So I'll probably have imaginary children. Wonderful.)

What is some good advice for me?

It's Goin' Down - Linkin Park and The X-Ecutioners (what is?)

How will I be remembered?

Shut Up - Black Eyed Peas (oh dear...)

What is my signature dancing song?

Speed of Sound - Coldplay (which probably means I'm a fantastic dancer, because that song is brimming with syncopation)

What does everyone think my current theme song is?

Stranded - Jennifer Paige (well, you might be right. Thank you everyone)

What song will be played at my funeral?

Come Together - The Beatles (everyone, have fun...)

What type of men/women will I like?

Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado (ok whatever you want to think, the way I see it, I'll be a rich playboy in the future. Sorry but I really like to dream.)

What does next year have in store for me?

High - Lighthouse Family (I don't think so.)

What does my love life look like next year?

1985 - Bowling for Soup (will I really meet someone that old?)

What do I say when life gets hard?

Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw (I is good huh?)

What do I think of when I get up in the morning?

Feel - Robbie Williams (as a matter of fact, I might actually think that. Go listen to the lyrics)

Which song will remind me of my first kiss?

Jesus Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood (I'm sure the other party won't agree)

My favourite saying?

Don't Cha Wanna Ride - Joss Stone (which relates to the earlier answer of Promiscuous. This is really working out for me huh)

My most missed memory?

Backstabber - Jonezetta (ahha, really? Taken into context, I could consider it to be true, but... NAhhhhhhh)

What songs describes my close friends?

Stars - Simply Red (a line over here please, I only accept cash thank you...)

What song describes my ex?

Slow - Kylie Minogue (you won't believe how long I laughed at this one. I guess what goes around really does come around)

What song describes myself?

Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day (ehhhh, maybe. I'm always asleep anyway.)

Where will I be in 10 years?

Bring 'Em Out - T.I. (makes no sense really. Unless I'm a reality show host and I say "bring out the jury" on Survivor or "bring out the designers" on Project Runway, but otherwise, it's really ridiculous. I'd prefer the Amazing Race.)

My love life right now?

Out of Touch - Uniting Nations (this quiz has turned out to be more of a fortune telling session than anything else)

What is my current state of mind?

Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey (err, who?)

What is my life's purpose?

Only Human - Jason Mraz (sure, how modest of me.)

What do my parents think of me?

Kids With Guns - Gorillaz (awww come on...)

What do I often think about?

Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 (yeah me too.)

What is my life story?

Seasons - Good Charlotte (critically analysing it though, it might hold some truth)

What will I dance to at my wedding?

Golden - Switchfoot (sounds good.)

What is my biggest fear?

We Believe - Good Charlotte (hmm, lyrics people, lyrics)

What is your biggest secret?

High and Dry - Radiohead (shhhh...)

What is the theme of my life?

Deep - Blackstreet (oh yes, it is... very indeed)

So there you go. I hope you had fun because I certainly did not enjoy doing it.

I won't tag anyone to do this because this is really life wasting, but, if you wish to kill time by bashing it on the head with a keyboard, be my guest.

2008-12-06T23:34:00.002+08:00

Ok I shall make this a short one because I want to sleep (pardon my lazy and inherent bum-like attitude).

I have to say, the Lourdes Experience was, well, a wonderful experience. Once again I apologize for the lack in variety that my posts have slowly but surely become. Yes, all you grammar (and vocabulary, if any) Nazis can come and annihilate me. Then of course, there was dinner, and as usual, we had a laughing good time. This has become the norm for outings with my friends already (yes church and school alike) and the constant suaning has become the bane of my sad little existence. So eventually if you find a dead body lying at the foot of my block, it's probably my neighbour's pet. At the same time, I might even make new friends.

So we were going on our usual jokes (mostly from Denise anyway, I'm not the kind who cracks jokes about people... No... Really...), and then Denise said, "Brandon, I think you'll fail any test I give you". Then, knowing me and my self-proclaimed-witty-yet-really-lame-and-stupid-quips, I said, "Really ah, blood test also!". And so we came to the conclusion that Brandon's blood type is F. Yes. F+. Don't worry Brandon, you can still improve.

2008-11-27T18:56:00.004+08:00

You cool your bedwarm hands down
On the broken radiator

When you lay them freezing on me
I mumble, "can you wake me later?"

But I don't really want you to stop
And you know it so it doesn't stop you

You run your hands from my neck
To my chest

Crack the shutters open wide
I want to bathe you in the light of day
And just watch you as the rays
Tangle, wrap around your face and body
I could sit for hours
Finding new ways to be awed each minute
'Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you

It's been minutes It's been days,
It's been all that I will remember

Happy lost in your hair
And the cold side of the pillow

Your hills and valleys
Are mapped by my intrepid fingers

And in a naked slumber
I dream all this again

The second single off Snow Patrol's new album, "Crack the Shutters".
What a beauty.

2008-11-21T23:05:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it's good to look back and reminisce about the times when life was good, we had fun, and had nothing to worry about. And then we ask, how did everything disappear. Like a ship sailing into the distance. A distant memory it has become, and that's all we have now. The memory. The memory tortures us. I swear if there's anything I'd wish to get rid of now, it's good memories that have turned sour, because of the things I've done, because I know those times will never come back again. The ship has sailed, but what made it turn around and leave? Change.

How things change is quite simple. It's complication.

Yes, that's the word. Complication. A word which all of us are familiar with, or at least have come to know these past few years. IB students (and even IP) have come to realise that this is a part of everyday life. From bullshitting in papers to bullshitting even along the corridor, complication has become our inter-school past time. I mean, come on... we take the sweet and eat it, but then our teeth get stuck in the sweetness, and then we think to ourselves, "is it really worth a few more chews?"

"Will I choke when I swallow?"

Innuendos aside, one must ask, is there a way to avoid change? Well the answer is obviously yes. Temporary it might be, but no change keeps things simple. Why let something good become totally different, like another noun, when it's already 'good'? You switch the words around here and there, then it becomes an anagram, but really, it's because we don't know the outcome, that's why we're so afraid of change. Interestingly enough (or not), change is inevitable. It'll come slow, but it'll come anyway, so why avoid it? Ride the waves man. Oh but there are so many questions. Will I be swallowed? Will the board hold my weight? How long will it last?

It's all about the angle, and the timing, and whether you're well prepared not just for the consequences, but for the long road ahead.

I know this post might have felt distant, but this is one of those where it is difficult to make coherent. Thoughts are a marvellous thing: they tell the whole story, but only the story you know. If you know this story, then you probably have felt my pain too.

2008-11-14T23:04:00.002+08:00

Sailed to every corner of the globe, wandered far and wide, and I'm finally back here.
Yes I know I haven't updated in a while, and to all those who have been waiting for my latest so-called intelligent quip at the wonders of Life, I'm and truly deeply sorry. From the bottom of the bottomless pit of my heart, I am sorry.

Some people can't help that they're lazy. Like me. I like to believe that it's actually a reflex action for me, but in reality, I'm actually a very hard working boy. For starters, I actually study lots everyday. From day to night, diligently I plow/plough my through my books, and when I can't find a solution, I work hard at it and won't do anything else until I get it right.

Yeah and John McCain won the election too.

So anyway, the Sec2s ended their camp recently, and it is good to see how all of you were touched, in one way or another. But this is only the beginning. Keep the fire burning people, and shine a light bright for others to see as well.

2008-11-03T20:37:00.002+08:00

I've always wanted to be a part of, or just have something to do, with a group of people, who don't make music for the love or fun of it. I wanted to be with people who dare to continually push the boundaries of music, and musicianship. I'm not a very good musician myself, but I like to dream.

I look up to groups who are not afraid to experiment with everything at their disposal. Meaning, you don't have to be rich to own a car, and you don't have to be Michael Bublé to put up your own concert. I'm not talking about making music hear. I mean, everyone does that. I'm talking about, making emotion, and you don't need a guitar to do that. Emotion can come from anything. Anything at all. My desire right now, is to work with people who can do that, who share the same passion as I do. That is, to not just make music, but music that moves, in every sense of the word.

I am currently facing a dilemma. Close friends of mine, Mdm Lewis and Mr Hayes, are both excellent at the keys, but, if the hat only fits one head, what do I do?

Open up another. I have recently (today actually) learnt to accept everyone, and bring everyone to the table. I will not be thanked for doing this, because how can there be more keys on the chain? Won't too many cooks spoil the broth? It'll make an unnecessary jingle in our hands, and when we ultimately open the door, which key do we use? I say, keep it. Keep it all, because when you have enough on your chain, you might just make something other than noise. The locks are changing all the time, so one key will never be enough.

2008-11-01T19:12:00.002+08:00

ARRRR! Ahoy me maties! Unfortunateleee me darlin's tonight tis' not a special one, for I... about to voice me concern. Well, for starterrs, me displeasure is at our very own captain. He forgotten to hand over the map to our destiny, and expects us to go find it! Despicable! Living in his own kingdom that's what he is... Tis' all true, he expects us to performmm the imposssible. 3 weeks is all we got.

Mutiny I say, mutiny!

Me likes to believe, he's even morre despicable then the famous Jacko! Absolutely hilarious, off his rocker, but... lacking in them northern regions! Hor hor hor!

Oops, sorry... Tis' my fake parrot!

2008-10-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

Lets see. 30 points for final, 28 points overall. Focus for SL Physics and HL Econs, plus that other so called 7 we must get in order not to spite my face, I'd say everything's going well over here.

Speaking of SL Physics, today was another eventful day in the life of Mr Terence Chiew. Yes sir, you get a special, prestigious, utterly glorious mention here in this humble blog, for making the most utterly stone person I know even more stone. Not as if Shiru doesn't look at me that way whenever I tell a lame/bad/disgusting/stupid joke, today she kept it up for the full 1 and a half hours. The look of "what-the-fail" (to keep my PG rating, sorry to disappoint) consumed her entire being, her oneness with Kinematics and F=ma was painfully disrupted. And she liked it. (I think... Who knows what tomorrow brings?)

We also learnt something new today. I_B+I_A=0, where it is the result of the rate of change of momentum of a force AB. Well, well, well...

Cutting to the chase, I'm sorry to Luke and all. Well done for Oktoberfest. And for the upcoming camp, I hope it goes well.

I hope everything goes well, but, hope is... just a waking man's dream. It's up to, the greatest DJ, mixing the music of our living.

Fed up with your indigestion
You swallow words one by one
Folks got high at a quarter to five
Don’t you feel your growing up undone?

Nothing but the local DJ
You said he had some songs to play
What went down from his fooling around
Gave hope and a brand new day

Nothing was the same again
All about where and when
Blowing our minds in a life unkind
You gotta love the BPM

When his work was all but done
Remembering how this begun
We wore his love like a hand in a glove
Then the preacher plays it all night long

Imagine all the girls
And the boys
And the strings
and the drums…

2008-10-16T23:16:00.002+08:00

I'm not really feeling it at the moment. I'm just so tired. Lots of things have been making me tired lately. Today was the house AGM, and as you know, I'm not the most well-respected and fully capable person in this school. Fortunately enough, I'm the house captain of our beloved yellow tank-top house. So... As if Sunday isn't enough, I had to have today as well.

Then... There's just. Tomorrow. Doomsday.

I'm in sweet anticipation of my results. Really. I can't wait to go and get 'focused'.

I've explained to Mr. K recently, that I'm absolutely pathetic when it comes to courting the rightful heir to the jade bracelet. Honestly, I've seem to have lost my touch. Hehe ok ok I never had the touch to begin with. I was just lucky. And lately as well, I've been detailing my misadventures to the closest ones, and we all seem to agree that I'm a twit.

This is turning into a rant, isn't it. Well. It happens. Especially when you're under stress, and completely worn out.

Back to my push-ups.

2008-10-14T20:43:00.002+08:00

"Atlantic"

I hope all my days will be lit by your face
I hope all the years will hold tight our promises
I don't want to be old and sleep alone
An empty house is not a home
I don't want to be old and feel afraid

I don't want to be old and sleep alone
An empty house is not a home
I don't want to be old and feel afraid

And if I need anything at all
I need a place that's hidden in the deep
Where lonely angels sing you to your sleep
Though all the world is broken
I need a place where I can make my bed
A lover's lap where I can lay my head
'Cause now the room is spinning
The day's beginning

I've fell in love with Keane all over again...

2008-10-12T21:28:00.002+08:00

Pardon me for my randomness and utter uselessness of this post, but today really proves that joy can be found in the simplest of things.

It all started from after soccer (and it went downhill from there). We did our typical stand-around-and-wait-for-someone-to-make-a-move routine, and then our dear S-A-V-R KSMblahblahblahyouknowwhoyouare went "Anna, smell!", and he let out a gigantic fart. (ok it wasn't actually a gigantic one, it sounded more like a wheezing sound, but enough of the details.) And knowing Anna, she would scream at the slightest thing. Like wind. Or dead birds.

It carried on until dinner time. It all started with Trevor's General T. dunnowhatdunnowhat, and Anna's "sooo annoyyyeeeng". As all good IB students do, they think on their feet. I was sitting down but that's not the point. The point is, I had a brainwave.

Now at this point, some of you might be forced to close the window, or click some other link, so screw you I'm finding new friends!!! Heee nahhh just kidding. I'll just block you on MSN.

No but really, I did have a brainwave, which resulted in a really long time of continuous laughter (yes I laughed so long and so hard that I lost track of time).

From General T. dunnowhatdunnowhat, and "sooo annoyyyeeeng", I realised that my phone could actually say these retarded things. It has a voice tag function in the contacts menu, where it actually pronounces your contact's name. Soooo... typing it in, I let Jonathan hear it.

From then on it was the end of us.

Now, we're gonna get it recorded, and we're gonna release a CD.

Watch out Michael Jackson. Don't laugh your ears off.

2008-10-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

Hello world. I would like to announce that exams are over and now I am going to thrash my books. Be back in 5...

Ok so maybe I didn't exactly thrash my books. As a matter of fact, I'm reading them now. Yes, how ironic (normally Gareth and books don't go in the same sentence... they still don't).

The exams have somehow left a void in our hearts, us IB students. We feel empty without it. We crave it (well, not exactly). We get bored without it. Why? I mean, what twisted student would get bored without books? Aren't books boring enough already? Well, the twisted students from some school along Dover Road would be experiencing that right about now.

But what makes this so? Well for starters, we've been living off internal assessments and mathematics portfolios for the past 10 months of our lives. That's even longer than it takes to make a baby! (whoops... I just went from a G to an M-18)
Then there's the long hours. With long periods. Kudos to the Kings and Queens who keep their citizens at full attention for 2hours and 20mins.
Finally, there's just... Life. In a city that's bustling with life, it's quite funny that the youngest of us apparently don't have one. Sure, this is coming off cheesy and expected and whatever other sesquipedalian term you can come up with, but honestly, we citizens of this great kingdom clearly have no liberty to go out and catch Disaster Movie, continuously being bogged down by the cargo ship loads of homework being dumped on us every week. Tragic.

What's even more tragic is the after effects of this process. Now, we feel lost, and insecure, and incoherent. We need work. We need to be ripped off buying sandwiches we can make at home by ourselves. We NEED IA'S!!!

So please, please give us homework. Please give us IA's, and more EE's and TOK presentations. Better yet, if Liverpool beat Zenit St. Petersburg or some lower league club 1-0, celebrate by giving us a day to go back to school so we can slog away at all our overdue and yet-to-be-given homework.

So much for being bored and incoherent.

2008-10-04T21:14:00.003+08:00

Unbelievable... 1 (or in my case, 2) more papers to go before the end of promos. For some, the time has come to sit back, relax, and do some EE and TOK. For the rest of us though, 'tis the season for focus camp... ...

That's right folks! It's that time of the year again! The time where we all get to sit round the camp fire and enjoy the surreal beauty of our notes and worksheets, and dive in to the realm of unparalled ecstasy as we swim in the Mississippi river of formulas and definitions.

Honestly, I'm looking forward to it. Who wouldn't want to spend another week in school labouring away at the nauseating amount of work to be done, coupled with the looming figure of the re-examinations. I mean, seriously.

I would like to thank my friends, who have been so supportive of me (no this is not some goodbye note, it's actually an attempt at achieving some sort of comic effect) and special mention goes to my dearest David, who so lovingly tells me before the Econs paper this week, "since you're gonna fail already, might as well not study and go focus camp." That's the spirit boy! Why bother!!

So to stay true to my new found approach towards the last 2 papers, I shall watch TV.

2008-09-28T22:52:00.003+08:00

Yes I know I keep saying I shouldn't be doing this but here I am again.

I think the world's first ever night race on Singapore's street circuit is a worthy enough reason for me to just throw aside Huck and Sidd to watch. A disappointing outing for Ferrari though, which I must say, even though I'm not a huge F1 fan, made me very disappointed too.

It all started with an accident. Nelson Piquet in his Renault smashed into the wall, prompting the entrance of the safety car, in which drivers made the mistake of pitting when the lane was apparently closed. This caused all sorts of problems for the drivers, especially for the cars in front. Massa, who started in pole, had a commanding lead up till then. A refuelling disaster supposedly caused injury to one of the crew, and he had a 10s stop penalty. From then on, he was out of contention for points. Alonso then took over the reigns of first spot, now with the race turned on its head, with the trailing drivers now in front. Raikkonen retired, albeit in 4th place at that time, with 4 laps to go, summing up Ferrari's disappointing night. A fantastic drive from Nico Rosberg saw him move up the track positions all the way up to second, but it was Fernando Alonso who brought it home for Renault, no thanks to a small favour from teammate Nelson Piquet Jr.

2008-09-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

First papers for English and Econs were ok... I don't expect much. I never did. Ain't never gonna expect a 7 so ya'll can go stuff it wif them empty threats of no Dean's list.

Yeah I'm in the Huck Finn mood right now. Damned paper 2 for English is on Monday, and I ain't ready. You can only imagine my stress. That paper is followed up by Physics and Math, then piano practical. So as I speak, my hair is falling.

"There are swaggering bands, bands who are in your face. And then there are bands who get hold of you somewhere else. I think its a heart thing, an intimacy thing. Like you know them and they know you. I think we are one of those bands."
-Gary Lightbody

Snow Patrol's new album, "A Hundred Million Suns" is out 27th October.

2008-09-19T21:38:00.005+08:00

dumbass computer has STUPID TROJAN AND MALWARE!!!

studying is NOT going my way, and I can't do my TOK presentation... My life is seriously screwed up.

Things I really want right now:

To pass my exams
To read Huck Finn and therefore acheive number 1.
To do my TOK presentation well
A new pair of Converse shoes
A macbook

2008-09-19T21:38:00.004+08:00

AHHHH MY COM HAS VIRUS... Actually it's a Trojan but they're all the same. They're bloody annoying.

Anyway I haven't been updating for legitimate reasons. Reasons which I will not mention now because it is mentally, emotionally, spiritually, grammatically, physically painful.

Yesterday's events were also painful, and somewhat, err... Ok I'm not elaborating further because I do not want to incur the wrath of people higher up than me. But that event was just a bullet point in my long list of disturbing occurrences.

More next time.

2008-09-05T23:41:00.002+08:00

I'm currently in a deluded state.

I just want the simple things in life. I don't need anything fancy. I don't need a sports car, or a big bungalow, or a well paying job. I just want to have... simplicity.

I want to go away, and travel to the ends of the Earth, to all the corners of the globe. I wanna take in the sights and sounds of different cultures. Get to meet new people, make new friends and acquaintances. Learn a new language. Study new cultures. Experience new cuisine.

I want to take a beach chair and sit on top of a overhead bridge and drink orange soda. I want to have long walks on the beach and swim in the sea every day. I want to sit in the back of a lorry and drive across Malaysia.

Simplicity.

Here, I want to be invisible. Nothing more than normal. Nothing but a passing thought, a blur in the corner of your eye. Just another person, another character, an extra in your blockbuster.

It's not worth all the trouble. It's not worth getting stress. The stress of responsibility, of judgement, of competition, of being somebody I'm not just to be noticed. I'd rather not. Why put in all that effort, when all they see is the outside? The outside, facade, exterior, the cover of the pages of my book. Even for those that bother, they don't read past the first chapter, they don't reach the best part of the story. Sometimes it's because I don't let them, other times it's because they lose interest. So why bother?

People can't pass judgement if you don't exist.

But I do want someone else in the lorry you know.

2008-09-04T08:41:00.002+08:00

Ok so like seriously, I would like to make a shout out to all my friends. For those who have started mugging hard, well, good on ya mates! For those who haven't...

High five, we're screwed.

Hmm just changed my blogskin because the old one was getting boring. Not that this one is any better but aiyaaa what the heck la.

Based on what I know so far, uhhhhh... (in case you don't know, this means I don't know anything!! Hahahahha ok bad joke)

Yes I've been reduced to the point of blogging for nothing.

Oh yes. Confirmands, your time is coming. So, be good, and see you this weekend.

Whereas for me, I gotta go get some work done. You know the funny thing is, I've been to school for 3 days already this week. For physics class and one econs class. I know ya'll gonna say that that don't count but hey, I understood stuff *scratches nose and shuffles feet*. Either way, I'm screwed. I'm not motivated la. Really. Like what Krupa said, if only motivation was an object, then I'd go to the ends of the Earth to find it. And fast. Exams are less than 3 weeks away.

Adios. Muggers.

Wordplay

2008-08-31T23:27:00.001+08:00

Alright I know I haven't done this in a long time so forgive me. In fact, this comes at a time when I should be studying, so don't blame me if another one comes along after Christmas or something.

So recently school has been interesting. Teachers' Day was a couple days back and it was quite, well... Quite interesting. Good idea about the old school theme. Oh and I recently attended CJC's drama night, and boy was I disappointed. That where my comments end unfortunately, because I come from a GWH school so... moving on.

Many things have been getting on my mind of late, and because of these things, I tend to lose focus. Not that I'm your most focused person but, really. It's not good.

On to a not so related note, maybe you all should check out page 12 of Lifestyle in today's Sunday Times.

And to a completely unrelated note, here are some quirky new words I learnt in school of late which definitely deserve to be included in the prestigious ACS(I) student lingo.

squareroot(ab) = abSURD
the German for ****you is F-*phlegm*-a-r-c-k-uuuuuu

A Moment Like This

2008-08-24T20:59:00.002+08:00

Yes some people do wait a lifetime, but thank goodness it came in ours. The Beijing Olympics have been a wonderful success, some even billed it as the most successful games ever. Well, that's always debatable, and you know what they say. The Best is Yet to Be.

Ok, well I know it's not much, but here are some of my most favourite moments of the games:

The men's 4x100m Freestyle relay. My goodness. That one had me on the edge of my seat. Alain Bernard led on the last leg by more than a body length, and anchor for the US team Jason Lezak had an impossible task on his hands. I suppose impossible really is nothing. Lezak chased down Bernard, the world record holder in the 100 Free coming into the race (which at that time was actually already broken by Eamon Sullivan of Australia in 47.24 in his leadoff leg) and beat him by 0.6s. The US win after trailing in the last leg, and Phelps says 'thank you'. Tell me how is that not amazing.
Usain Bolt's victory in the 100m. Jacques Rogge can say all he want, this man is amazing (but sorry he isn't as amazing as Phelps). He started celebrating even before crossing the finish line, and still managed a world record.
Ahhh the day when the table tennis women made us all proud. Our first medal in 48 years. Congratulations.

And lets not forget the opening and closing ceremonies of the games. Filled with colour and majesty, it symbolised the Olympic spirit in many ways. What a job by the Chinese.

Now we wait for London 2012.

No Worries

2008-08-22T02:54:00.002+08:00

Ok to all those people who think I'm emo because I post the stuff I post (look below), well sorry to disappoint. I'm not emo, so Huilun you're not a social butterfly.

Exams are coming soon so wish everybody would start studying (thanks to those who have already) so that ya'll can help me with it as well. *cough cough and stares at Edward Bingei*.

And to all those who've participated in the Olympics, well whether I know you or don't, whether you remember me now or not, all I want to say is, WELL DONE.

Oh and err, Usain Bolt is crazy good.

Thats all.

We Started Nothing

2008-08-06T20:44:00.003+08:00

What a disappointment. Really. A turn out of less than half capacity of the CPA2 was utterly disappointing (I too speechless to think of any other word). Anyway, it's in the past now.

Exams are coming in less than 10 weeks. I'm in trouble. This is an appeal to anyone who can/wants to help me. Please help the less fortunate. Me.

Besides that, so many other things are coming. IOP (despite it being pushed back for me), TOK, EE... Really the next acronym I'm going to use is "GG". On top of that, school brings me down to whole new levels. Yes whining is in today.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what's right. I don't know how to please you.

Questions questions questions, piling up like my Math homework (oh don't get started with the champion thing again).

No one dropped of waiting in despair
Every time I go there’s no one there
So tell me where’s the soul, oh! where’s the soul
Submit it’s all locked up, so hard to loose control

I started nothing I wish I didn’t.

Wait on a new, gonna bet on 1 today
How it’s only all of us, if and buts falling dead
Tell me where’s the soul, oh! Where’s the soul
If it’s been a whole day it’s time to let it go

Now, often we keep qivin’ in with what they say
We’re too open when we’re only shown 1 way
And with the offer open opportunity to do
To make a mighty step no insoles in my shoes

Water’s cold, ice is just a face skin deep
All you know, ice is just a face skin deep

Till my next whine, goodbye.

Groovejet

2008-08-01T23:07:00.002+08:00

Ok so hello again. It's been a while, and expect this trend to continue. IB life is well... no life.

No life, no time, no nothing. Alright on to the fun (or not-so fun) part.

Today was cross-country, and as expected, it took me a little longer than usual to cross the finish line, because I had to drag some extra weight around, brought about by the late night snacks and lack of exercise. The funny part was after the run though. I felt like dedicating a song to someone, but didn't know who that someone would be, so I decided "ah what the heck, I'll just dedicate it to my class". Then Eugenia came along and I discovered that it was her birthday today. So... I asked her what song she would like since I was gonna dedicate one anyway, and she asked for You're Beautiful - James Blunt. After the mass run my mysterious announcer friend played it, but without realising that it was the uncensored version (I didn't realise it either). So when that explicit part came, BANG it was the end of the world... Nahhh... They just turned down the volume immediately.

That's not the only stupid thing (or things) I did. I also helped smuggle some milo to my friends. Haha stupid prefects.

Ok now... Back to brooding over my ticket sales for-
FOA 2008, ACS Philharmonic Orchestra, Sunday 3rd August, 4.00pm, CPA2, tickets at $12.

Fruit Machine

2008-07-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

I had a discussion with a friend today, on how it feels like a Sunday even though its a Friday or a Saturday, because of something we did which happened to be out of the ordinary, better than usual. Even a little thing like watching a movie can be call 'out of the ordinary' for people like us.

So many concerts I've been to (or going to be attending) already this year. I wonder why I go for so many. Is it because of my friends? Mostly. Well. I don't know. I feel like I always have choice, even in the most difficult of situations.

Even the most catastrophic of events in our world today is not exclusively and completely the result of nature. No. Sometimes the hand of God is forced.

Which is why I think I need to think about the decisions I make from here on.

And I'm making a conscious decision to not put lyrics in this post. (hahahaha Mark. Voila.)

American Boy

2008-07-05T18:31:00.002+08:00

Well, this past few weeks have been so hectic and stressful, and the next few weeks are going to be worse. I really wish I could just quit school and go travel the world or something. Ok sure, all of you have thought about that before, at some point in your life. But sometimes there are things which are truly worth living for, and really worth all that trouble to go through. So if traveling the world means I have to go through school first, well then, I suppose I could do it.

Other things (it's always other things anyway) have made me wonder if my efforts (not in the thing you're probably thinking about right now) are ever gonna cut it. Really. I wonder how I did it before, and how I just can't do it again.

Dance Inside - Postlude

2008-07-01T22:46:00.003+08:00

And it's finally over. After all the stress and last minute studying, it is finally... Over.

Yes, I like the word over, because it describes the status of my life. Over. 19 points here I come.

Wow, haven't updated in a while, so I probably need to find inspiration to blog again.

Oh and I recently attended "Scherzo". A concert by RGS strings. And... I have no comment. The cellos were good though. I guess it's over for more people other than me.

Alright school again tomorrow. Till the next time.

Dance Inside - Prelude

2008-06-20T22:59:00.002+08:00

I hope this mad season is over quick. Quick and painless, just like... Ok nevermind. I realised that there was a bad joke coming, so I guess it's better not to say. Yes, there are still some things which come out of my mouth and I don't even think about it before it does. As Winston Churchill once said and I quote, "We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out".

Hmm... Right now I'm thinking if I should do Tea's little quiz thingy.

Hmmm......

Alfie - Postlude

2008-06-18T14:28:00.001+08:00

Straits Times ya'll are soooo harsh.
I enjoyed myself, so I guess I have no complaints.
OH great. Tomorrow is recording..
Screw recording, screw ST, screw common tests.

Yes Simin.. this is a rant..