every second dripping off my fingertips: November 2010

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I am sitting here inside chatter, fooling around on the computer with Naomi. Wait, wrong. I'm fooling around. She's doing her work. I'm supposed to be studying ROR and journaling. Anyway, instead of journaling, I thought why not blog and journal about the week. I'd be killing two stones with one bird! Wait, wrong. Pardon my inability to post with the accurate use of English and sentence structure, it has been a while since I last did something like this ever since I sold my soul to Mega Mind.

Now I really hope no one except Naomi reads my blog.

I found the nature of Idiotic Period to be truly boring, mind wasting and useless 5 weeks before the whole thing actually began. I was hoping time would stop and everyone in the world would live the same way over and over again for the few weeks since I came back from Elephant Land. Such was the pain of seeing the Honourable Ones return to the fortress. A wave of annoyance flooded the land, and perhaps out of all the noble Knights, I was the greatest victim of mental deteriorating and brain cell loss. First, they tortured me with a series of brain washing sessions that extended for hours on end, and as if that wasn't enough, they dragged us out of our cells and gathered us in a large group, Knights too, to verbally berate us. All this to try and induct us into their clan, their band of brothers. We Knights, on the other hand, have a plan to change the world, to make a difference. Our spirits might have taken a beating on the last day of the brain washing when we were mentally as well as physically tortured. They brought us down to the ground, made us beg for mercy, and penetrated our minds in unholy ways. It was truly painful. I have the scars to prove it.

Days later, we got the chance to meet older Knights of the Orders before ours, men who have made a name for themselves, a legacy. They spoke with passion and life, despite their age and experience. Their experience was of most value to us, and it got me wondering how far we had to go ourselves before we got to where they were in life right now. It would be a long and arduous journey, and there will be a lot to learn and to overcome, but I can do it. At least I think so. I always become afraid of something before it actually happens. I get anxious and I dread the idea of having to face such a challenge. It weakens me, but when that event comes, I discover I can actually do it without much effort, or rather, it feels like it is not a lot of effort after I actually do it. Perhaps I underestimate myself. I am on this line that separates mediocrity from greatness, and I want to cross this line, but I cannot bring myself to make that great leap. Or perhaps I have been made to think that. But I really want to be great and honourable.

Following that, us Knights were presented with a mission of sorts. Like medieval jousting competitions, it certain felt like we were being judged as we were going along. It felt like we were lab rats in Mega Mind's glass box, running on a wheel that doesn't go anywhere, at least not until the wheel breaks, and we can then run out of the box. But how long will that take. It is always a challenge when you're told to reach the finish line and that it will be a tough journey. At the beginning, it is easy to be motivated since it hasn't dawned upon you that the road will be so long that it will seems like there is never going to be an end to it. That's my problem. If I can't see the end, I won't want to work. It is probably a problem for lots of other people as well. And I think the scientists conducting this experiment understand and see that as well. I think it is only a matter of time that us Knights, and the newer warriors in our cause finally wise up and change to become better at what they do. I believe the New Order needs experience to learn.

And then there was Friday and Saturday. I took time off and my chainmail off to spend time with my darling Naomi. We went for dinner with her mom and friends and had some nice Malay food. It was curious looking at first, because I'm so used to the boring shit I eat everyday, so this was almost alien to me. In fact, girls and guys with long hair look alien to me as well. Anyway, the food was quite okay and we had a nice time chatting (or rather laughing and making stupid faces) with Rebecca and friend. I also had the opportunity to duel Rebecca at seeing whose arm is the biggest, which I obviously lost, and showing Naomi how to do tactical signalling. It isn't very difficult if you ask me. After the scrumptious left overs, we left for Bugis where we had an unpleasant experience at a certain old cinema. No, it did not feel like we were transported back in time to one of those old ancient cinemas. It felt more like we were sent on a trip to another dimension where people were just as lazy as I am and refuse to use soap as a cleaning agent rather than plain water to mop the floor. I doubt they mopped the floor anyway. Lucky enough, the movie was a nice distraction from the stickiness I felt at the sole of my feet. Obviously The Social Network is a heavily dramatised version of how Facebook began. I mean, did Justin Timberlake really own almost half of Facebook Inc.? And is he really that smart? I thought the portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg was particularly negative as well. He was made to look like a selfish jerk incapable of social interaction with the opposite sex due to his low EQ. But, aren't all brilliant geniuses stereotypical like that? Maybe I'm a different kind of genius then.

somewhere a clock is ticking:
7:31 PM