every second dripping off my fingertips

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I'm sick of staying here. Life here is mundane and repetitive, and it's difficult as well. Money is hard to earn, life is hard to live. If ever I had the chance to move away, I'd go as far away as possible. According to some personality quiz thing on facebook, I'm content with my life. Perhaps that quiz thing is wrong. Perhaps I want more than sun all year round, floods on random days, traffic jams everywhere. Traffic everywhere. I want open space. Perhaps I've lived here too long.

I think I've said before in my one of my older posts that I want to live a simple life. I think that view has changed of late. I think now, I want to live a comfortable life. I guess simple never actually meant farms and chickens, just hassle free, no jams, no need to pay for everything, no need to bother about every little thing. Just living simple with no worry about deadlines and expectations. Maybe a holiday might have done me some good but again there's the money issue, and no one besides my parents would want to go with me anyway.

But what are the chances of that kind of life happening? It looks like I'm destined to stay here forever. I hope not though. Maybe one day I'll get the chance, but for now, I'll have to bite the bullet of sorts. Betray my feelings, wipe my emotions clean, become numb. I suppose that might work. Then I can live in my own idyllic world where no one can bother me. No no, I'm not being ignorant or whatever degrading thing you might conjure up in your mind. I would just prefer it if nothing bothered me.

somewhere a clock is ticking:
11:55 PM

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