every second dripping off my fingertips

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The days leading up to Chinese New Year have been fun and sad at the same time. Not that the days are over yet, but this is the general impression so far. It's been fun because I've been at home watching Goong, the Korean drama so graciously thrust upon me to watch, so as to brainwash me into being TRULY Asian. Yet, I've been somewhat lonely being stuck at home with no movies or theme parks to go to. Besides my trips out to meet people and reading at Starbucks, that's all I've been up to. Yes, I know I should have found a job. I got that a long time ago.

Speaking of Koreans, I showed Krupa an image of Yoon Eun Hye.

Me: *smiles widely* *stares at her pretty face*

Krupa: hmm, show me another picture. This one she looks.. *shrugs* I don't know.

Me: *goes back to google images* this one?

Krupa: *pause* We have different tastes. Definitely.

So my attempt to make Krupa TRULY Asian as well crash and burned. I guess the ICS (Indian Cultural Society) made him Asian enough. I shall not aspire to change him further, but I wonder what kind of Asian girl he really likes.

I also wonder why everyone's so stressed out about Uni Apps. My friends have fallen victim to the omg-everyone-else-in-school-got-so-damn-fucking-high-in-IB-that-I-can't-go-anywhere-cos-of-them disease. My answer to this has ranged from comforting to explaining to giving up altogether. What's there to be worried about? Given what I've been taught, it's better to just try, live and let be, and enjoy it. I've been doing that faithfully by watching the Korean drama and distracting myself with the internet. It's not that I don't care, I just don't see any point in being miserable.

Right now, the only thing that's really nagging me still is my skin. After 19 years, you'd think the wind would actually blow in my direction, but noooooo. As much as I would like a miracle, House doesn't exist and even he would be bored with my case. I must say, over the years my confidence has taken a beating, but I try not to let it affect me. Lately I've realised that more and more but it will take some time before I get back my mojo. Thinking of this reminds me of the time I was still competing, in the twilight years of my career, where I would get the nerves. Even on the block, I would shake. I never used to get the nerves before, which was why I got afraid and shocked even more. I wanted to fight, but my body froze up. I tried to work hard to get back my fitness but I just couldn't regain my form. I suppose the damage done was too great, and somehow, I felt that I had to give up, at least to pursue my studies. Perhaps now I feel like I could have done more, but what's done is done. Now I have this life, and in this life, I'm not giving up so easily (as seen in my remarkable comeback in a famous examination).

So I guess now it's out. For all you people who wondered a long time ago "where's Gareth? Why did he quit?" This is your answer. If I have blogged about this before, then this post is to show you some Circle of Life thing, where I revisit random stuff in my past for fun. Boy does that sound familiar.

somewhere a clock is ticking:
3:51 PM