every second dripping off my fingertips: January 2009

Friday, January 30, 2009

I broke into your house last night

And left a note at your bedside

I'm far too shy to speak to you at school

You leave me numb and I'm not sure why

I find it easier to sit and stare

Than push limbs out towards you right there

My heart is bursting in your perfect eyes

As blue as oceans and as pure as skies

Struggle for the words and then give up

My head's up with the birds in the T-hut

Little piece of mind that I know better

Than the plain disgrace of all my letters

But after that the floodgates opened up

And I fell in love with everyone I saw

Please take your time I'm not in any rush

And it's in everything I'd ever write

It's not as if I need the extra weight

Confused enough by life, so thanks a lot

Lonely written words for company

Just raise the roof this once and follow me

somewhere a clock is ticking:
10:43 PM

Monday, January 26, 2009

Samson - Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

somewhere a clock is ticking:
11:03 AM

Sunday, January 25, 2009

You'll need to turn up the volume a little on this, but if you can't hear very much, it's still just as powerful. Nice one from Enakshi (I'm not actually gonna call you that from now on right?)

somewhere a clock is ticking:
8:20 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2009

So as a paced up and down my apartment like how Hedda paces around her cage, I managed to come up with a ridiculous and completely lousy wlit 1 topic, which will almost certainly be rejected by Queen Me. Not giving 2 hoots about it, but 3, I went out.

"You don't alter a Vera to fit you, you alter yourself to fit the Vera" reverberates throughout my head at the moment. While it may apply to dresses figuratively, imagine what else it could mean in the real world. In our world.

No lecture today. Class is dismissed.

somewhere a clock is ticking:
11:11 PM

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

It's not that I don't care.

It's not like you do anyway.

It's not that I'm insincere.

It's not as if I forgot (guilty as charged).

It's not as if you're not my friend.

It's because I do care.

It's because it doesn't matter what you think, as long as I know I've done my peace.

It's because open material sincerity probably means you don't trust that person.

It's because IB is probably the same excuse you'll use.

It's because one year is enough.

If you see this, well... Happy One-Eight =)

somewhere a clock is ticking:
8:53 PM

Friday, January 16, 2009

As the year progresses, the posts will become more and more erratic in frequency. Of course, as I've said before, no one reads this so it doesn't matter. No, this is not a plea for attention, through gaining the sympathy of those who are already on this page, but rather, it is the hard, and honest truth.

Truth is a funny thing, and in all truthfulness, I'm gonna makes this short because I have other priorities right now. What are my ways of knowing you might say. Well, I say, ask the world (which have schools) about this knowledge issue. *See...* First, the truth makes people hurt you. Simon Cowell can attest to this. When you let someone know the truth, it hurts them, and most of the time, it's not because they think you're too harsh or whatever idea people conjure, but, it's because they know themselves that it's true. And guess what, now the rest of the world knows. That's why they hate you. Also, if you are blunt, it might come across as harsh as well. Now honestly, do you think you'll listen? I know I won't, unless you put it right up front like a stray dog on the highway.

Next, the truth makes you hate people. This is both similar, and different from the one mentioned earlier. So let's consider this. We know the truth about ourselves, and we completely detest the person we are, or have become. And eventually, we realise that other people might share the sentiment as well. Paranoia. No, I know the truth. Surely you mustn't think that I can't see it. I can. I should.

Blaming anyone at all won't solve anything. It is just the way it is.

somewhere a clock is ticking:
11:28 PM

Thursday, January 1, 2009

As we look back on the year 2008, we recall all the experiences, the relationships we've fostered (even up till the very last minute), the lessons we've learnt, lessons we've not learnt, and so on. The old habits die hard, especially when you have a sentimental heart, but... But, that's what the new year is all about. New beginnings, new journeys. New mistakes, new heartaches. New tragedies, and new resolutions. I'm not a 'glass-is-half-full' kinda guy, so I don't look forward to anything. And I don't look forward to doing anything either. Because, it's like wringing out the last few drops, just to reach the brim. Not that I look forward to reaching the brim either. It doesn't make me a hypocrite, but could mean either one of 2 things. First, I spill the glass I have now, or, I have water left over. Come this time next year, we'll see.

Luckily for people like me, we learn things along the way. Things that colour our water. Things that amuse us. Like, having our first kiss. Unfortunately (sorry to disappoint), people like us have to wait a much longer time for our next one, much like how school is starting this year. At least there are lessons like these that could satisfy our every fantastic, impulsive whim of a notion of what we'd rather learn, other than Complex Numbers and the Brewster's angle. I mean, where else can you learn to close your eyes when you kiss someone? Do you think looking cross-eyed is going to get you the girl/guy?

Which is why I say here's to all who take in everything life has to offer, and colour their water, so that when everyone reaches the brim, it doesn't become about who got there first, it's who made the most of it.

somewhere a clock is ticking:
10:20 PM