every second dripping off my fingertips

Friday, September 5, 2008

I'm currently in a deluded state.

I just want the simple things in life. I don't need anything fancy. I don't need a sports car, or a big bungalow, or a well paying job. I just want to have... simplicity.

I want to go away, and travel to the ends of the Earth, to all the corners of the globe. I wanna take in the sights and sounds of different cultures. Get to meet new people, make new friends and acquaintances. Learn a new language. Study new cultures. Experience new cuisine.

I want to take a beach chair and sit on top of a overhead bridge and drink orange soda. I want to have long walks on the beach and swim in the sea every day. I want to sit in the back of a lorry and drive across Malaysia.

Simplicity.

Here, I want to be invisible. Nothing more than normal. Nothing but a passing thought, a blur in the corner of your eye. Just another person, another character, an extra in your blockbuster.

It's not worth all the trouble. It's not worth getting stress. The stress of responsibility, of judgement, of competition, of being somebody I'm not just to be noticed. I'd rather not. Why put in all that effort, when all they see is the outside? The outside, facade, exterior, the cover of the pages of my book. Even for those that bother, they don't read past the first chapter, they don't reach the best part of the story. Sometimes it's because I don't let them, other times it's because they lose interest. So why bother?

People can't pass judgement if you don't exist.

But I do want someone else in the lorry you know.

somewhere a clock is ticking:
11:41 PM

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